German rockstar assaults groupie bitch
posted on April 21st, 2009 by Dustin at 5:06 pm (EST) with 23 Comments
If you haven’t heard of them, this is Tokio Hotel from Germany.
These guys are huge in Europe and have gained success in North America as well. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so I listened to them, but was not impressed. Not even a little.
Last week, the guitarist of Tokio Hotel, Tom Kaulitz was accused of punching a female fan in the face at a gas station. The victim was allegedly part of a gang of Tokio Hotel groupies that stalk the band on a regular basis. She asked him for a picture one too many times, and he finally jacked her.
Tom Kaulitz, gangsta as fuck.
Tom left the scene before police could arrive and it is assumed that he is still wanted for questioning. That’s all there is to know at the moment about this, so we’re moving on…
Unlike Nickelback, I do not hate Tokio Hotel only because of their shitty music. I also hate them because the singer and guitarist are twin brothers that couldn’t be more opposite. Tom is a gangster wannabe, and Bill Kaulitz (the singer) apparently thinks he’s a girl.
Feminine-looking Bill has consistently denied rumors of being gay, while others claim to have personally seen him giving blowjobs to men. Tom, on the other hand, opted for the Slim Shady look to avoid rumors that he jerks his brother off on the tour bus. Nobody would ever accuse a gangster of being gay; they might threaten you back with violence.
To summarize, Tokio Hotel is a fucking TERRIBLE band. The singer looks like a girl with a lot of Myspace friends, and the guitarist is a female-hitting white German gangster. The moral of this story is, if you have an identical twin, you better look exactly the same because it’s annoying otherwise.
23 Comments - Leave One!
Comments
Comment from Bob the KILLER!!!!
Time April 21, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I’m still not convinced that Bill doesn’t have a massive case of vaginitis.
Comment from Ashley
Time April 21, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Is tom wearing a dress in the first picture?
WHY would their parents let their son’s dress like that! one is a girl..the other is a wigger
doesnt this just scream: INCEST!?
Comment from Sam
Time April 22, 2009 at 8:35 am
…They both look like girls…
Maybe that’s why I haven’t listened to them
I have a tendency to steer away from gender confused bands…
Comment from Amanda
Time April 22, 2009 at 9:34 am
Well i hate tokio hotel just as much. and the sad thing is I live in germany.
anyways you got a bit of the story wrong.
the girl that Tom hit is part of a “gang” called Les Afghanes on tour. Yes retarded. Yes French.
Anyways the 4 girls having been stalking the ground thier friend and family members. throwing eggs at them and “terrorizing” them.
so the girl that was hit took a picture off tom at the gasstation. he threw a cig out the window she picked it up put it out on his Audis window he got out the car smacked her and went away.
end of story.
and im serious came on the news xD the 4 girls even have a myspace account. just google the gangs name haha
Comment from Dustin
Time April 22, 2009 at 11:34 am
Amanda, the funny part is I wrote everything that you just said already, but then I deleted it after realizing that the whole story was just too gay for me to even care about. Basically, I just wanted to show pictures of them so everyone could make fun.
Comment from Lucy
Time April 22, 2009 at 4:55 pm
They are SO ugly.
On the first picture, the guy on the right looks like he is taking a major shit.
Comment from gaby
Time April 23, 2009 at 9:23 am
may I say that all german bands are shitty and they both look like girls.
gangster or not, I bet he does enjoy giving his brother hand jobs.
Comment from blackhand341
Time April 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm
hahaha i listened to there songs…. i have a problem with getting hooked on bands with shitty music…. i blame you! but seriously lol wow…. apparently the twins are 20… and they dress like fucked up teenagers…. shall we laugh and point? i think we shall…
Comment from Maddcowe
Time April 24, 2009 at 1:14 pm
What a bunch of choads. That first picture, where the effeminite boyz are looking all tough and “street-wise” reminds me of that cheesy video by Journey in the 80s, “Seperate Ways”, where they’re all stomping down the street, looking hardcore and mean while playing their air guitars and air keyboards. Hilarious.
Amanda, why is that retard tossing cigarettes around at gas stations? Is that normal in Germany?
Comment from footlong
Time April 25, 2009 at 10:56 pm
first off who the fuck wears karl kani shit anymore? second i think the more girly looking one is wearing a pistons bad boys shirt. So he cant be gay? I wanna fuck em both with an AK47.
And whats with the other 2 guys playin butt grab?
Comment from Amanda
Time May 4, 2009 at 12:43 am
No. It’s not. Theres those little stickers (no smoking) everywhere at a gas station.
I think its cause he thinks hes famous.
Or will look cool.
Comment from brit
Time June 27, 2009 at 11:45 pm
Im a fan, you guys are all retarded.. Tokio Hotel is not bad, you guys really need to give them a chance… Of course you are not going to be impressed if you listen to Children of Bodom and Marilyn Manson. I like them, and I could hardly care less whether or not you do.. The Tom incident is true, duh, but don’t judge those fucking stalkers have history with Tokio Hotel, Tom recognized her of course and basically just got really mad.. maybe he was drunk.. not unusual x3
Bill isn’t gay.. If he was, he would admit it, there is nothing wrong with pride. Just because they are not identical to your twin, doesn’t mean you are gay for each other.
And tom is not a wannabe gangster.. He listens to Hip Hop actually, which he admits does not really fit with him playing guitar.
Comment from Dustin
Time June 28, 2009 at 11:32 am
Brit, you sound like a 9-year-old defending Lance Bass from N*SYNC before he came out of the closet.
Bottom line is this: Tokio Hotel is a shit band full of a bunch of dickasses. They have no talent at all, even when compared to the likes of Nickelback.
The only reason they’ve ever won any awards is because there are thousands of other little skanks like you waiting to blow one of their roadies just to get on the bus for an autograph.
You make me sick!
Comment from Andrea
Time November 29, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Tokio Hotel is the fucking shit.
You guys are so stupid.
Ha.
Comment from klara.
Time November 7, 2010 at 3:42 pm
seriously, go fuck yourself. just ’cause you’ve got ‘ondt i røven’, as we say in denmark, don’t blame tokio hotel. they’re just hotter than you. no offense.
Comment from Sepharo
Time November 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Damn these dudes must be doing something if it inspires teenage girls to post on articles from more than a year ago.
Comment from bchic
Time February 5, 2011 at 7:36 pm
What I don’t understand is the genre.. i tried to listen to one of their songs stopped after like 30 seconds, didnt impress me a bit. they are like j-rock wanna bees or something like that. this is the first band i think that try to mix hiphop and rock elements together… as well as pop- lol… as they say, the more you hate, the more you love.. better ignore. enough said.
Comment from Dustin
Time February 5, 2011 at 11:36 pm
I agree 100%. I’ve only heard their songs from Guitar Hero, and they sucked.
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Time November 16, 2011 at 7:12 pm
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Comment from My Homepage
Time December 9, 2011 at 1:31 am
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Comment from camila
Time April 21, 2009 at 5:25 pm
jajajaja
oh man that was funny
he also sounds like a girl
I remember the first time I heard them I was like, is this a girl?
no one with that face expression is entirely straight