This morning, a large 747 airplane flew low over the Manhattan skyline, accompanied by a tiny F-16 fighter jet. For 30 minutes, the planes circled around New York Harbor as thousands of New Yorkers screamed in terror because they thought 9/11 was happening again.

Every time the planes would circle closer, people would run for cover, or cry, or pray.

“Awwww, not AGAIN!”

I know it’s a little late to say this, but don’t panic! According to the Alternative Press: “The flyover was nothing but a photo op, apparently one of a series of flights to get pictures of the [President's] plane in front of national landmarks… such as the statue of Liberty and the Grand Canyon.”

You’d think that the public would be warned about the jets beforehand, to avoid panic, but the Government opted to keep the project a secret. Only the White House and the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) knew about it, and they actually thought it would be a good idea.

“We need some new pictures of the President’s plane. You know what would be sweet? If we could fly the plane really low to the ground and get a picture of it zipping by the statue. That won’t scare the fuck out of anyone.”

Why is the US Government spending millions of dollars updating their pictures of a fuckin’ plane? PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR HOMES. Somewhere, an out-of-work graphic designer could have Photoshopped a way better picture in exchange for a loan.