This morning, Chris Brown’s lawyer told reporters that he is seeking a dismissal for his client because of all of the “evidence leaks” prior to the investigation.

In case you didn’t know, Chris Brown is being charged with felony assault and making threats after giving singer/girlfriend Rihanna’s face a makeover – with his fists.

The photo above is an example of an evidence leak. It was supposed to be kept secret until after Brown’s case was resolved.

You see, there really is no defense for Chris Brown. Whether or not evidence was leaked, he really did beat the shit out of Rihanna and should ultimately have to pay the price: an anal raping in prison.

Because of his undeniable guilt, the only way to defend himself is to complain about how unfair it is that everyone saw the violence he’s capable of. Basically, this was Chris Brown’s lawyer’s statement:

“Chris Brown should be innocent because nobody was ever supposed to see those pictures of Rihanna’s face after he punched her several times.”

OMG, FUCK YOU.

I’ll keep you updated as to whether or not this little turd goes to jail, but in the meanwhile, check out Mike Tyson’s (real) opinion about this topic:

“My personal opinion about that is, he’s just a baby. He’s just a little baby that don’t know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, ‘I know how to handle my emotions’; we all think we do. But the fact [is], you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don’t know how to handle those feelings.”

That’s probably the least retarded thing Mike Tyson has ever said, and I think I get it now; Chris Brown loved Rihanna so much that he couldn’t handle those feelings, so he punch her in the face several times to express his passion. Kind of like how Mike Tyson went to prison in the 90s for raping Miss Black Rhode Island, when in reality, he was just trying to express his emotions.

Thank you for clearing this whole thing up, Mike.