This is the face of a very lucky 14-year-old girl boy who was struck by lightning on Wednesday. He wasn’t lucky to be struck by lightning, obviously. “It was a miracle that I survived,” says Austin Melton.

Austin Melton, not Taylor Hanson.

Austin was struck by the lightning bolt in a Central Oregon school parking lot moments after making a sarcastic/ironic statement: “Someone said ‘that’s scary’ and I was like ‘not really – what’s the worst that’s going to happen, I’m going to get struck by lightning?’ And look what happened,” he said.

The lightning bolt entered through the right side of Austin’s face and exited out his ankle. Amazingly, he only suffered minor lightning-related injuries. Here’s a fantasy diagram of what happened:

The biggest mystery is how Austin’s sweatshirt was shredded by the lightning, but his beautiful hair remained almost completely undisturbed. He’s been growing his hair for two years and plans to donate it to Locks of Love. Psh, stupid! Just kidding, that’s a really nice thing to do.

Austin reminisces about lightning and how awesome he is now.

Some of you are probably wondering how a person can be struck by lightning and survive. Believe it or not, most people actually survive lightning attacks. The people who die are usually extremely allergic to lightning bites. You can be tested for lightning allergies at your local doctor’s office. Call them for more details.

Bonus haiku:
Young Austin Melton.
Struck by molten bolt. Lightning.
Austin ain’t Meltin’