30 Days of Garbage
posted on July 24th, 2009 by Dustin at 11:58 am (EST) with 17 Comments
As I reported a couple weeks ago, the garbage strike is celebrating it’s one-month anniversary in Toronto. Foul heaps of rubbish have been collecting next to bins because, apparently most people think that tossing trash on the ground next to a full bin is OK.
I saw a rat scurry away carrying a used tampon with a used condom stuck to it.
Since there is nowhere to put my own waste, I have been hording it at home and waiting for the strike to end. I guess I could transport it all to a landfill somewhere, but come on.
How much trash can a person accumulate in a month? The answer is a lot.
First thing you’ll probably notice is that I have a cigarette addiction.
There is nowhere to stash my cigarette butts and it’s really starting to affect the air quality in my home. Ironically, underneath all those butts is a really nice Bud Light ashtray.
Fast food wrappers and cups are also becoming a trip hazard in my home, completely blocking my emergency fire escape route. I’m concerned about safety because I often fall asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette in my mouth.
I can’t complain about my bedroom though because there’s actually so much trash it’s fun. I can roll right off my bed onto a mountain of pizza boxes and Styrofoam containers. When I do this, I like to imagine that I’m Scrooge McDuck in a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese.
Grab your swine flu masks — we’re heading into my bathroom and it’s a little dirty.
My toilet got clogged and the plumber I hired to fix it died, so now I just shit in a bucket on top of the toilet. The tub is the cleanest spot in the house because I use it to brew beer.
Mold spores seem to be more plentiful than oxygen in this part of the house. Someone told me mold is a health hazard, but I also heard that penicillin comes from mold, so WTF?
A little Vick’s Vap-o-Rub under the nostrils and it’s totally tolerable.
And last but not least, the most important room in the house, my office. This is where I spend the majority of my time writing stories for Sidecarsally. Some ashes made their way into my monitor and changed the screen to a funny green color.
My keyboard has all the necessary keys cleaned off. All those F buttons at the top are retarded, so I sprinkled ash on them on purpose. Print Screen? Nobody uses that one.
I started writing this article to show you how bad things have gotten since the trash strike started, but now I realize I just have a problem — worrying. I worry too much!
I’m gonna go take a dump and shower at the neighbors’ house if they aren’t home.
17 Comments - Leave One!
Tags: Garbage Strike, Sick, Toronto, Tragedy —
Comments
Comment from dizzy stylez
Time July 24, 2009 at 12:23 pm
you smoke to many ciggs! lolololol your house looks liek soopa fun!
NASTY ASS CLEAN YOUR SHITY AND SMOKE SOME POT!
Comment from Dustin
Time July 24, 2009 at 12:26 pm
“This is an actual apartment found in Houston after the evacuation for a hurricane.”
Comment from Wendy
Time July 24, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I guess they spent all their money on hookers, heroin, and fast food. No money left over for cleaning supplies. Are there kids under there?
Comment from patrick
Time July 24, 2009 at 12:43 pm
dood. i totally saw a post on here about some trashy ass people that you took those pics from! funny as fuck tho.
Comment from Shanan
Time July 24, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Fucking sick! I figured it wasn’t yours. someone as intelligent as yourself wouldn’t live in those conditions. It’s impossible!
Comment from Josh
Time July 24, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Dude stop taking pictures of my bachelor pad
Comment from Lucy
Time July 24, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Bro that is so nasty!
How can people even live in that condition!?
Comment from cortnie
Time July 24, 2009 at 4:16 pm
what about the comma button? it looks unused as well!
Comment from matt
Time July 24, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Whataburger and smokes….MMM
Comment from blackhand341
Time July 24, 2009 at 4:58 pm
i was like jesus christ….. where are the damn taco bell wrappers… imagine actually living like that….. god that makes my house look like…… a garbage dump……. and a garbage dump look like heaven..
Comment from camila
Time July 24, 2009 at 6:23 pm
jajajaja looks like my house
i dont even live in canada lol
jk
wow!
Comment from Guugley
Time July 24, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Damn thats pretty disgusting..
Is it just me or so those cigarettes look half smoked..?
Comment from oiseau
Time July 24, 2009 at 11:55 pm
totally unrelated, but i just found out that the guy from one guy one cup died! i don’t know how, i’ve been googling it like no tomorrow, but i thought you would appreciate knowing of such a loss. it’s more monumental than mj dying, anyway.
Comment from Don V
Time July 30, 2009 at 10:07 pm
That’s WAY more than one month. This is likely the house / apartment of an agoraphobic or someone with a similar mental illness that kept them inside for what looks like half a year I’m guessing.
The litterbox was the cleanest part of that bathroom
Comment from tammara
Time July 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm
You have got to post where did those pictures really come from.
Is it legal to live like that?