As I reported a couple weeks ago, the garbage strike is celebrating it’s one-month anniversary in Toronto. Foul heaps of rubbish have been collecting next to bins because, apparently most people think that tossing trash on the ground next to a full bin is OK.
I saw a rat scurry away carrying a used tampon with a used condom stuck to it.
Since there is nowhere to put my own waste, I have been hording it at home and waiting for the strike to end. I guess I could transport it all to a landfill somewhere, but come on.
How much trash can a person accumulate in a month? The answer is a lot.
First thing you’ll probably notice is that I have a cigarette addiction.
There is nowhere to stash my cigarette butts and it’s really starting to affect the air quality in my home. Ironically, underneath all those butts is a really nice Bud Light ashtray.
Fast food wrappers and cups are also becoming a trip hazard in my home, completely blocking my emergency fire escape route. I’m concerned about safety because I often fall asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette in my mouth.
I can’t complain about my bedroom though because there’s actually so much trash it’s fun. I can roll right off my bed onto a mountain of pizza boxes and Styrofoam containers. When I do this, I like to imagine that I’m Scrooge McDuck in a ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese.
Grab your swine flu masks — we’re heading into my bathroom and it’s a little dirty.
My toilet got clogged and the plumber I hired to fix it died, so now I just shit in a bucket on top of the toilet. The tub is the cleanest spot in the house because I use it to brew beer.
Mold spores seem to be more plentiful than oxygen in this part of the house. Someone told me mold is a health hazard, but I also heard that penicillin comes from mold, so WTF?
A little Vick’s Vap-o-Rub under the nostrils and it’s totally tolerable.
And last but not least, the most important room in the house, my office. This is where I spend the majority of my time writing stories for Sidecarsally. Some ashes made their way into my monitor and changed the screen to a funny green color.
My keyboard has all the necessary keys cleaned off. All those F buttons at the top are retarded, so I sprinkled ash on them on purpose. Print Screen? Nobody uses that one.
I started writing this article to show you how bad things have gotten since the trash strike started, but now I realize I just have a problem — worrying. I worry too much!
I’m gonna go take a dump and shower at the neighbors’ house if they aren’t home.
| Comments (17) |
Posted by Dustin @ 11:58 am |
You have got to post where did those pictures really come from.
Is it legal to live like that?
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Comment by tammara — July 24, 2009 @ 12:14 pm
you smoke to many ciggs! lolololol your house looks liek soopa fun!
NASTY ASS CLEAN YOUR SHITY AND SMOKE SOME POT!
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Comment by dizzy stylez — July 24, 2009 @ 12:23 pm
“This is an actual apartment found in Houston after the evacuation for a hurricane.”
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Comment by Dustin — July 24, 2009 @ 12:26 pm
I guess they spent all their money on hookers, heroin, and fast food. No money left over for cleaning supplies. Are there kids under there?
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Comment by Wendy — July 24, 2009 @ 12:36 pm
dood. i totally saw a post on here about some trashy ass people that you took those pics from! funny as fuck tho.
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Comment by patrick — July 24, 2009 @ 12:43 pm
Fucking sick! I figured it wasn’t yours. someone as intelligent as yourself wouldn’t live in those conditions. It’s impossible!
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Comment by Shanan — July 24, 2009 @ 12:58 pm
Dude stop taking pictures of my bachelor pad
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Comment by Josh — July 24, 2009 @ 1:15 pm
sick!
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Comment by jena — July 24, 2009 @ 1:30 pm
You are fucking hilarious dude hahaha
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Comment by Quinn — July 24, 2009 @ 2:42 pm
Bro that is so nasty!
How can people even live in that condition!?
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Comment by Lucy — July 24, 2009 @ 3:42 pm
what about the comma button? it looks unused as well!
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Comment by cortnie — July 24, 2009 @ 4:16 pm
Whataburger and smokes….MMM
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Comment by matt — July 24, 2009 @ 4:42 pm
i was like jesus christ….. where are the damn taco bell wrappers… imagine actually living like that….. god that makes my house look like…… a garbage dump……. and a garbage dump look like heaven..
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Comment by blackhand341 — July 24, 2009 @ 4:58 pm
jajajaja looks like my house
i dont even live in canada lol
jk
wow!
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Comment by camila — July 24, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
Damn thats pretty disgusting..
Is it just me or so those cigarettes look half smoked..?
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Comment by Guugley — July 24, 2009 @ 7:12 pm
totally unrelated, but i just found out that the guy from one guy one cup died! i don’t know how, i’ve been googling it like no tomorrow, but i thought you would appreciate knowing of such a loss. it’s more monumental than mj dying, anyway.
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Comment by oiseau — July 24, 2009 @ 11:55 pm
That’s WAY more than one month. This is likely the house / apartment of an agoraphobic or someone with a similar mental illness that kept them inside for what looks like half a year I’m guessing.
The litterbox was the cleanest part of that bathroom
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Comment by Don V — July 30, 2009 @ 10:07 pm