California, the new Australia
posted on August 4th, 2009 by Dustin at 6:02 pm (EST) with 11 Comments
Being a prisoner in California is like being a gerbil in Richard Gere’s asshole; It’s cramped and overcrowded with other gerbils. Finally, the Supreme Court has taken notice.
California’s prisons are so overcrowded that the state is violating inmates’ constitutional rights, three federal judges ruled today in a decision imposing a cap on the prison population that will force the state to release nearly 43,000 prisoners over the next two years.
California’s prisons are designed to hold 84,000 inmates, but 158,000 inmates currently reside there — sports and recreational facilities have been converted into extra holding space, and prisoners are not receiving adequate health and mental care.
“Closest thing to a vagina I’ve seen is a hairy asshole dripping with cum after I rape it.”
I’m pro-humanity, so I agree that overcrowded prisons are a problem. But can’t we just, I dunno, kill the extra prisoners instead of releasing them? Technically, their behavior was the real problem in the first place — It’s not California’s fault so many a-holes live there.
Or better yet, just release people with marijuana offenses and that should create some much-needed space for the pedophiles and murderers to lift weights and play dodgeball in prison. You know, since the world needs stronger, faster pedophiles and murderers.
11 Comments - Leave One!
Tags: Boring, California, Prisons, Supreme Court —
Comments
Comment from fn4eva
Time August 4, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Maybe we can build more prisons – private ones especially. Or send them to Afghanistan to fight the Taliban.
Comment from Lucy
Time August 4, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Holy shit, release them?!
That’s messed up, I agree though, they should just free the ones that smoked marijuana and crap like that 
Comment from Don V
Time August 4, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Now that’s what I call a penile colony.
Remember – nothing reduces crime like encouraging possession or drugs and insuring that there’s no concept of consequence.
Hey – give ‘em all a free handgun while we’re at it!
Comment from Don V
Time August 4, 2009 at 7:24 pm
…that was “of drugs”… damn Percocet is giving me double-vision.
….AAAAAAAnd scene.
Comment from Shannon
Time August 4, 2009 at 10:13 pm
lol@ You know, since the world needs stronger, faster pedophiles and murderers.
Comment from gaby
Time August 4, 2009 at 10:38 pm
they could do like they did on the onion movie and start moving prisoners into peoples homes.
haha
Comment from Khrystyn
Time August 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Did you hear about the some 4,000 prisoners they’re going to release in Michigan? They’re somehow “non-violent,” but the majority of them are pedophiles. The justification for that is that the “Non-violent” criminals will have GPS trackers on them or something effective like that.
Comment from Brian
Time August 6, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Don,
I’m not sure if you were being sarcastic, but if you weren’t, possession of marijuana= a handgun?… maybe a bag of Doritos.
I’m pretty sure Your Logic= Fail, but what do I know. I only graduated college 4 months ago with a 2.7 GPA…
Comment from Dustin
Time August 6, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I think possession of marijuana = a nuclear bomb. If you smoke weed, you might as well be a murderous Nazi abortionist with an a-bomb.
Going to smoke a joint now 
Comment from J.C.
Time August 10, 2009 at 12:17 am
I think that if they legalized marijuana in small amounts, a lot of the overcrowding problems would be taken care of. Shit, I think they really ought to legalize.
Comment from godlikemonkey
Time August 4, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Well, maybe if they legalized small possession of drugs, the prisons wouldn’t be as overcrowded…like, you know, arresting people for actually CRIMES?