A gamekeeper in Uganda had a close brush with death this weekend. He disturbed a full-grown hippopotamus while it was eating. Big mistake, buddy!

Luckily, Ugandans are crazy fast runners.

Most people don’t know this, but hippos are fucking insane. They can run up to 30mph — faster than any human — and they also kill more humans than any other African animal.

Most people that have seen a hippo up-close in the wild are DEAD.

This photo deserves to win some sort of National Geographic award.

Even crocodiles can’t fuck with hippos. A crocodile will often target baby hippo calves in the water, but the adults will team up and destroy it.

Despite all this violence towards humans and crocodiles, hippos rarely kill each other. I guess that makes them more civilized than humans. Fuck humans!

Bonus fact (compliments of Wikipedia): Some incidents of hippo cannibalism have been documented, but it is believed to be the behavior of distressed or sick hippos, and not healthy behavior. — I guess we aren’t so different after all.