When my uncle got arrested for his 12th drinking and driving offense, I thought, “Man, my uncle sucks at drinking and driving. How do you get busted twelve times?”

All you gotta do is close one eye and stare at the hood ornament on your car. Keep within the lines and drive the speed limit, and you should be OK.

OR you could just not drink and drive at all — probably a better idea.

My uncle may be the king DUI offenses, but he isn’t the GOD of it. This week, a man was arrested in New Mexico for his 22nd drunk driving offense.

On Monday, a police officer spotted a car on the side of the highway — the 51-year-old unnamed driver was laying on the ground next to the car, drunk. Very drunk.

An ambulance transported the man to a hospital in Santa Fe, where blood-alcohol analysis showed a content level of .393 percent — 5x the legal limit!

Police said records showed the man has been arrested 21 times before, but did not know if he had any actual convictions. If not, I want his lawyer for my next murder trial.

The suspect was released from the hospital and booked in the Santa Fe County jail for a felony DWI charge. Don’t worry about him though — he’ll be free and driving again soon.

Too bad the legal system isn’t as forgiving for crimes like sexual harassment. I’d be grabbing tits all the time. At least I wouldn’t be endangering lives!