“Mullumbimby High School is set against a picturesque backdrop of riverbanks and rainforest at the edge of Mullumbimby,” New South Wales, Australia.

That’s a direct quote from Mullumbimby High School’s website, but I didn’t believe it either, so I looked it up on Google’s Street View. It’s just another shitty school.

It’s got a few palm trees. Yay.

The school’s website also claims that they have an Anti-Bullying Policy — Students are specifically educated about the consequences of bullying. It’s like sex ed, but instead of condoms and period-talk, it’s about bullying.

Another one of the “strategies” defined in the Anti-Bullying policy is “the provision of lunchtime support for students who are at risk in the playground” — protection in case one of the rival playground gangs tries to beat you to death.

That would never happen, would it? Playground gangs? LOL!

Stop laughing, asshole. On Friday morning, 15-year-old schoolboy Jai Morcom was beaten to death during a fight on the Mullumbimby High School playground.

Dozens of students and teachers witnessed the fight, but the story is still unclear. One thing is known though: The fight originally started over a “game” in which rival playground gangs compete for the “best lunch seats” outside.

This particular fight was between the two gangs known as the “Emos” and the “Footy Heads” — the Australian equivalent to Goths Vs. Jocks. Judging from his haircut in the picture below, Jai was most likely one of the Emos.

Bonus victim fact: Jai has a brother named Mayo — like ‘mayonnaise’

At lunch time, one of the Footy Heads stole a seat from the Emos and all Hell broke loose. Remember, this is a GAME that they play. I feel stupid just writing about it.

Yeah, so somehow Jai ended up involved in the fight that erupted and he was beat into a coma by several people. He was on life support until yesterday, and then he died.

The Mullumbimby High School playground is now a crime scene, and police have dozens of witnesses to interview and cross-examine. I guess they don’t know that Friday was National Emo Kid Beatdown Day. This year, Jai was the unfortunate “chosen one.”

“Nothing to see here, just a holiday taking progress.”