I thought today was going to be a good day until I read that Michelle Duggar from the show 18 Kids and Counting is pregnant with her 19th offspring. I thought the ‘and Counting’ part was just some kind of sick joke.
At this point, Jim Bob Duggar doesn’t even fuck his wife anymore — He just crawls inside her vagina and masturbates directly into one of her fallopian tubes.
Aside from being a wholesome, close-minded, over-populated Christian family from Arkansas, the Duggars haven’t really done anything wrong per se. It doesn’t make much sense to hate an entire family of people for no particular reason, but I do — very badly.
I know I’m just wasting creative talent writing about the Duggars. What do you think would happen if Jim Bob and Michelle found out I was criticizing their way of life and saying terrible things about their family? They’d pray for me.
That just makes me even more angry.
After the second child, the “miracle of birth” doesn’t apply anymore. All child births thereafter should be considered littering — and the parents should be cited for it.
The Duggars look at each individual child as a gift from God. “Thank you, Lord,” says Michelle Duggar, “Here am I — 42-years-old, thinking my baby days are over — and you’ve blessed us with another one.”
Babies are made when male sperm fertilizes a female egg. If you are a fertile person having unprotected sex with a fertile member of the opposite gender, pregnancy is expected. If anything, NOT getting pregnant would be the miracle.
The fact that Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 19th child should be proof that there is no God. If there was a God, he would’ve ended the Duggars’ shenanigans by now.
I’m going to take a nap now, so I can dream about bashing all the little Duggars’ faces in.
Bonus words of wisdom:
– “There should be a law against how many kids you can have, the same way there’s a law for how many dogs you can own, or kids you can babysit at once.”
| Comments (12) |
Posted by Dustin @ 1:36 pm |
i hate them.
there should be a law against how many kids you can have. the same way there’s a law for how many dogs you can own or kids you can babysit at once. WHY IS THIS ALLOWED!
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Comment by dana — September 2, 2009 @ 1:42 pm
It’s disgusting really…but the sad part is that the town I come from is full of ‘Apostolic Lutherans’ who are all against contraceptive…huge families like this are typical…I know a family with 21 kids…no joke…be reasonable…at least pull out!
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Comment by liane — September 2, 2009 @ 2:44 pm
At some point, the needs of the existing children have to be considered. How on earth could any of these children ever hope to get any amount of quality time with either parent?
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Comment by Gwynne — September 2, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
Lol. I hope it’s quads. That’ll show her!
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Comment by Cheerios in gravy! — September 2, 2009 @ 3:32 pm
You know what this means don’t you? Jim Bob’s been laid 19 times, count them, 19! Yeah man, way to go Jim Bob.
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Comment by George — September 2, 2009 @ 4:02 pm
The sad thing is that every kids name starts with a J. What are they going to do when they run out of names? Give him/her/it something freaky like Jackopa, or Jagannath? Oh, and I’ve heard that she’s going to keep having babies every two and a half years until “Jesus tells them to stop.” They’re like a freakin’ cult.
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Comment by Shannon — September 2, 2009 @ 7:23 pm
Hahaha, to what Shannon said, they’re trying to form a cult of their own blood to overpopulate the world with white Arkansas-nian Christians. lol
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Comment by Lara — September 2, 2009 @ 8:24 pm
how does she keep the baby from falling out of her huge vagina the whole 9 months…?
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Comment by cortnie — September 3, 2009 @ 7:52 am
Cortnie, she uses a vaginal baby hammock.
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Comment by Dustin — September 3, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
My only question is if the family owns a real clown car to pile up in on their way to praisin jesus on sundays
If they do, kudos, duggars, you validate all the hard work done by clowns for the circus
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Comment by josh — September 3, 2009 @ 8:20 pm
LMFAO VAGINAL BABY HAMMOCK!
I feel so bad for the 18 kids, soon to be 19.
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Comment by Lucy — September 5, 2009 @ 3:02 pm
I can hardly wait until the kids start screwing at age 10 or so.
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Comment by biggfredd — June 10, 2010 @ 4:57 am