Kids with guns
posted on September 8th, 2009 by Dustin at 3:01 pm (EST) with 12 Comments
I get a lot of offers to visit the Big Apple. People are always telling me, “Your awesomeness is desperately needed in New York — especially since 9/11.”
New York can eat my shit. I’m happy right here in relatively-safe Toronto. We’ve only had 39 homicides this year, as opposed to the 39 homicides that happened last night in New York. Even if those numbers aren’t 100% accurate, you get the idea. For example:
NEW YORK — On Sunday, a Brooklyn teenager accidentally shot himself in the penis.
15-year-old Khamir Grant was walking home from the park when the gun tucked into his waistband started to slip down. He reached for the gun and it fired a bullet through his penis — but rather than laying on the ground and bleeding to death (like I would’ve done), Khamir walked home and told his mom what happened.
Khamir was taken to the hospital where he received the standard treatment for a bullet through the dick — stitches and an ice pak. When he was released, police arrested him for reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a weapon.
Now when he ejaculates, it squirts in his face from the top like a whale’s blowhole.
I’m assuming Khamir is black because a normal sized penis would have been shot off.
Get it? Black people statistically have larger penises than whites and especially Asians.
I hate having to explain obvious sex jokes to my virgin readers.
12 Comments - Leave One!
Tags: Gun Control, Khamir Grant, New York, Penis, Stereotypes —
Comments
Comment from me
Time September 8, 2009 at 3:33 pm
virgins probably arent reading this anyways, theyre too busy reading the bible or looking at porn
Comment from Don V
Time September 8, 2009 at 3:54 pm
You mean reading the Bible AND looking at porn….
Yet another awesome news article Dustin….
Comment from peter
Time September 8, 2009 at 4:03 pm
but does that mean black women have bigger vaginas too?
Comment from soleil
Time September 8, 2009 at 4:04 pm
no more cum shots for this kid. lol
Comment from Camila
Time September 8, 2009 at 4:07 pm
jajaj
wow… imagine him telling his mom
Comment from Josh
Time September 8, 2009 at 4:41 pm
So the NFL receiver plaxico burress got two years for doing the EXACT same thing, maybe he’ll get off easy for losing The ability to procrothers another generation of retards?
Comment from Shanan
Time September 8, 2009 at 6:33 pm
‘Tis simply natural selection! It it’s most evident form!
Comment from Shanan
Time September 8, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Ha. ‘In’, rather.
Comment from Lucy
Time September 11, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Let me get this straight?
He shot himself in the dick, yet he walked all the way to his house and told his mom what’s up.
Yeah he is definitely black.
Comment from eatmyass
Time September 8, 2009 at 3:17 pm
HAHAHAHHAHAHA! MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS