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Reunited (and it feels so good)


Today’s story comes to you from Kentuck- wait a minute, Michigan?

MICHIGAN — 35-year-old Aimee Sword was arrested recently for having mother-son relations of a sexual nature. “She fucked her son” just sounds wrong.

In a nutshell: Aimee Sword had a son 10 years ago, but gave him up for adoption. Using her specialized investigative abilities (Google), she recently found her ex-son and got in touch with him. Details from that point are blurry, but apparently, they screwed.


Aimee’s a give/take kind of girl. She gave her son up, but took his virginity.

After the alleged “family reunion”, Child Protective Services somehow heard about the sexual accusations and informed police. Aimee was charged with criminal sexual conduct.

Aimee denies everything, but there’s an old saying: “There’s so smoke without fire.” It basically means that even if they didn’t have sex, she at least touched his balls.

Sadly, no additional details are known about this case yet, so we can only speculate — which is good because I rule at speculating. Check this out:

What we DON’T know:

1. Victim’s age: This is the most important unknown fact. Most people give their children up for adoption immediately after birth, so if the kid was only 10-years-old then shame on you, Aimee Sword. Even if he was 5 or 6 years older, it’s still wrong — he’s her SON.

2: How they got reunited: All we know is Aimee found her biological son on the Internet first, but did she find him on Myspace or Facebook? Maybe there’s a secret website with the names and addresses of all adopted children — I wonder if my name is in there.

3: Who started the sex: Aimee is the adult, so she’s LEGALLY at fault, but suppose for a second that the sex was her son’s idea. What was she supposed to do, turn him down?

What we DO know:

1. It’s totally OK to have sex with your cousin, but NEVER your own mother.

2. If you are going to have sex with a family member, USE PROTECTION. Generational inbreeding can result in odd-looking kids with retard strength.


Lop the ears off the man on the left and he could be an Abercrombie model.

Sources: 1

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Comments

Comment from Don V
Time September 10, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Just…. wow.

Comment from Mal
Time September 10, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Oh Dustin. He was 15. Although this makes for a sick and juicy story, I’m almost certain it didn’t happen that way…

“Now that the Oakland Press has found it neccesary to write a one sided story, I’ll fill in the missing details. Yes a son was given up for adoption, yes He found her on the internet, or actually they found each other. They met with the permission of the adopted parents, and were able to spend time together to allow him to meet his siblings. This boy was 15 at the time and had emotional problems, had been in trouble with the law and threatened his adoptive parents, also diagnosed as being bipolar. This should have been a sign to proceed with caution. The Oakland press reports as if she tracked him down for sex, which is ludicrous. This was meetings and visits that spanned over a summer to reconnect a family. When things didn’t go his way threats were made. Well now those threats have come to light. There are other children to be considered here, that love their mother very much. Before people judge her, lets get the facts. Our court system is innocent until proven guilty! When the truth comes out I hope the Oakland press will report the truth with accuracy. We all feel for the boy, but putting an innocent woman through this is unjust. He needs serious help.”

I’m just sayin’.

<3.

Comment from The Beautiful Kind
Time September 10, 2009 at 7:34 pm

Wow, Mal’s comment sounds so… SANE. What’s a sane person doing reading this blog?

Comment from renenet
Time September 10, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Geez, Mal…buzzkill…but I hope you’re right at the same time.

Comment from Wee Tar Dead
Time September 10, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Regardless of what may or may not have happened; I’m jealous. I wish she was my mommy, cause she’s a yummy mommy. Lucky little bastard.

Comment from Dustin
Time September 10, 2009 at 8:22 pm

Thank you, Mal! I’m happy to know all the details now, but something scares me: NONE of you mentioned that it’s STILL fucked up that they had sex.

Comment from Balls
Time September 10, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Fucked up or not she hot… I’d do her

Comment from Ashley
Time September 11, 2009 at 12:40 pm

maybe she didnt tell him that she is her mom so then it wouldnt be his fault
she is nasty

n r those real ppl in the pics? creepy

Comment from ANdyShep
Time September 11, 2009 at 2:41 pm

I believe that mal failed to mention that it is “Fucked up” that they had sex, because the facts show that they probably did not have sex.

Suffice it to say, that if the child was “fucked” the situation is “fucked,” if the child was not “fucked,” the situation is still “fucked.” The inclusion of the information that a situation is “Fucked” is often times redundant. Perhaps the site could include a degree of “fuckedness” scale so it isn’t necessary to always mention it.

Comment from Dustin
Time September 11, 2009 at 4:04 pm

No smoke without fire, remember?

She at least fondled his fagbone for a minute.

Comment from Lucy
Time September 11, 2009 at 4:05 pm

They should make a movie of this :)

Comment from footlong
Time September 11, 2009 at 4:19 pm

Quit posting pics of yourself on here Dustin.

Comment from Chris
Time September 11, 2009 at 4:35 pm

I never laughed so hard at a tragic situation… thanks, Dustin!

Thanks to Mal for bringing it back to reality… (I guess).

I’m wondering how the courts will handle this one: Usually, when a man sleeps with an underage girl, he’s doomed to go to jail for a very, very long time. But when a woman sleeps with a teenage boy… well, it’s not that bad, is it? In fact, it’s every (straight) boy’s fantasy to have a beautiful older woman ‘direct him into manhood’, right? Sort of a no-harm; no foul situation. However, now we’re talking mommy-sex and no one EVER wants to think about that.

Comment from Maxscene
Time September 14, 2009 at 1:47 pm

so amazing! i laughed my ass off and now I’m wondering how many times this happens to people. Damn Craigslist.

Comment from Christina
Time January 13, 2011 at 3:28 am

They will probably turn this into a shitty
Lifetime movie…

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Time April 11, 2014 at 7:20 am

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appartement sète vue mer et propre en ont

Comment from villa hlm perpignan a vendre
Time August 25, 2014 at 11:54 am

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