Elderly war veteren terrorizes burglars
posted on September 23rd, 2009 by Dustin at 1:37 pm (EST) with 15 Comments
88-year-old Biagio Sciscione may look old as fuck, but — well, he is. But don’t make him angry; You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
NEW JOISEY — Last Sunday, Biagio and his wife were relaxing at home in Jersey when they heard a knock at the door. It was a woman claiming to be from a local church. Like any elderly couple with nothing better to do, they invited the woman into their home.
(The woman wasn’t really from the local church)
As the Scisciones chatted with the guest in their kitchen, three thugs quietly entered the house and stole Biagio’s safe containing valuable jewelry.
Biagio looked out his window and saw his safe being carried away by the thieves. Normally aided by a wheelchair and cane, the old man ran down a flight of stairs to confront the robbers outside. Biagio explains how the violence escalated:
“The guy pushed me; I gave him a sock … a good sock, and he stood there and looked at me. I said, ‘You’re gonna get some more if you don’t drop that safe.’”
“I dropped my cane and I just went in action,” says Biagio. (true quote)
Rather than laughing at the feisty WWII veteran and giving him an adult diaper wedgie, the crooks dropped the safe and ran away. Cowards!
If I was a desperate criminal holding a safe filled with valuable jewelry and the only thing blocking my exit was an 88-year-old man, he would not be on the local news the next day telling everyone how he beat me up; he’d be dead and I’d have some new jewelry.
The Scisciones and other witnesses were able to provide police with detailed descriptions of the suspects. A hair sample was also found at the scene (probably not a pube).
As for his miraculous strength and courage, Biagio credits God for that:
“The Lord was with me,” says Biagio. “I have him here all the time.”
The Lord must have a weird sense of humor: He gave Biagio the strength to scare away four burglars, but he still shits the bed every night and has dementia.
Sources: 1
15 Comments - Leave One!
Tags: Biagio Sciscione, Hero, New Jersey, WWII —
Comments
Comment from Dustin
Time September 23, 2009 at 2:47 pm
He’s supposed to look like the Hulk. You seriously didn’t get that? LOL
Comment from Maxscene
Time September 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm
That’s amazing. I wish he was my grandpa. Hah he’d probably want to fight when he thought I was stealing his money!
Comment from Lucy
Time September 23, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Oh my God, at first when I saw the picture I thought ‘I swear if he turns green every time he gets angry I will cry tears of laughter for the rest of my life.
It’s okay though, he is still a beast.
Comment from Gaby (Dj. G)
Time September 23, 2009 at 6:52 pm
i mean..there wasn’t even a subliminal hulk joke anywhere in there..whatever! i feel like a dumbass. ha ha ha.
Comment from Bill
Time September 23, 2009 at 7:23 pm
But don’t make him angry; You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
Gaby that is a hulk joke
Comment from Gaby (Dj. G)
Time September 24, 2009 at 2:49 pm
SON OF A BITCH!
i cant believed i missed it. you know what, i’m just gonna stop coming back to this now because i want to crawl into a hole. goddamnit.
Comment from Bill
Time September 24, 2009 at 4:53 pm
You better fucking thank me
Comment from Shannon
Time September 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Lol, when I first saw it I thought it was an article about a guy that has green skin.
Comment from Bill
Time September 24, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Your fucking retarted then
Comment from Gaby (Dj. G)
Time September 24, 2009 at 10:09 pm
i appreciate your help Bill.
“helping dumbasses point out the obvious since 1882!”
Comment from Dustin
Time September 25, 2009 at 9:36 am
I think you mean “YOU’RE” retarded, Bill 
You can’t make a grammatical error in the very sentence you call someone retarded!
Comment from Bill
Time September 25, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Damn Your right dustin I feel like an idiot now. Im going to go off myself soon
Comment from Shannon
Time September 25, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Well Bill, not everyone can be as smart as you. You and your grammatical errors.
Comment from Gaby (Dj. G)
Time September 23, 2009 at 2:26 pm
those were not thieves. they couldn’t get past an old man?! jesus christ!
yeah, and is it just me, or is Biagio sporting a whole alien-green aura in that picture?