ARKANSAS — It is perfectly legal for a police officer to taser a suspect of any age — so long as the suspect is resisting arrest or posing some risk of potential injury to others.

A couple weeks ago, I reported on the Arkansas cop that tasered a 10-year-old girl at the command of her mother. If you haven’t read the article, click HERE.

(But don’t forget to come back and read the update, dumbass.)

Update: After investigating the incident, the Ozark Police Department has fired officer Dustin Bradshaw for failing to initiate the camera on his stun gun before using it.

Police issue taser guns have tiny video cameras pre-installed in them, and cops are required to activate the camera before discharging their weapon.

According to Ozark police chief Jim Noggle, officer Bradshaw had been warned several times to activate the stun gun’s camera and microphone on his lapel before taking any action — but Bradshaw was a rebel with no regard for the rules:

“Officer Bradshaw [once] stated that it is worth a 5 point deduction just so he would not have to carry the cameras,” Noggle wrote. “In the past he had been told to wear and use his cameras by me on several occasions.” [1]

In the meanwhile, Dustin Bradshaw can spend his unemployed hours taking self-defense lessons, so he can properly defend himself against A FUCKING 10-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

Sources: 1

Quality Comments: “I’ll bet if MJ were still alive he’d be pissed!” — Patrick

Please leave your comments in the comments section below.

Women teachers across the globe have become increasingly attracted to their teenage male students and having sex with them. But is it really a problem?

UNITED KINGDUMB — Madeleine Martin, 39, was recently sentenced to 32 months in prison after pleading guilty to 10 counts of causing a teenage boy to engage in sexytime.

Madeleine first “crossed the line” with the 15-year-old male student after connecting with him on a social networking site. After several weeks of chatting online, their relationship evolved into a sexual one:

WEEK 1 (ONLINE)

SexyTeacher69: Hey Timmy, great job on your Religion exam today.
Pimples420: thx
SexyTeacher69:You’re a very smart boy. You’re probably very strong too.
Pimples420: yeah i guess, gotta run bye
Pimples420 has signed off.
SexyTeacher69:*sigh*

WEEK 4 (ONLINE)

SexyTeacher69: I noticed you’re struggling in class this week, Timmy.
Pimples420: sorry mrs. martin, i’ve just had a lot on my mind.
SexyTeacher69: You can call me Madeleine. I’m not married.
Pimples420: yeah but ur my teacher lol
SexyTeacher69: Only for a few more months when you go to 10th grade

WEEK 8 (ONLINE)

Pimples420: what r u doing awake?
SexyTeacher69: Grading papers. How about you? You have school tomorrow.
Pimples420: i’m bored
SexyTeacher69: Would you like to come over and help me grade papers?
Pimples420: depends on what ur wearing. lol just kiddin
SexyTeacher69: I’m not wearing anything.
Pimples420: omfg asdkjffff address plz?
SexyTeacher69: 25 Grassfield Way in Knutsford. Don’t get too excited lol. I don’t know what you have in mind, but we’re only grading papers
Pimples420: i googled it. be right over.
Pimples420 has signed off.

The teacher and student had sex multiple times until the kid called it quits a week later. Then he told his mother. Mom freaked out and called the police.

I hope I’m not the only person who thinks that 32 months in prison is a harsh punishment for Madeleine Martin. She’s not a perverted male gym teacher that rapes little girls — she’s just a horny middle-aged woman that fell victim to dick vapor.

I defined dick vapor back in June 2009 as: A colorless, tasteless, odorless vapor that rises from teenage boys’ crotches. The vapor has been proven to attract female high school teachers, hungry for a slightly-underaged erection.

This statement holds true today because 72 people have approved it’s definition at UrbanDictionary.com — 2 people disapproved, but they are severely retarded.

We need an alternative punishment for female teachers who sleep with teenage students. If anything, they are providing them with safe, hands-on sexual education and experience — and that’s something the entire world could benefit from at 15.

I lost my virginity at age 15 and it lasted 3 miserable seconds. I regret it every day.

I propose an “Adopt-A-Decent-Looking-Teacher-With-A-Sex-Addiction” program. Now.

Sources: 1

Quality Comments: There are none yet!

Please leave your comments in the comments section below.

Bulgaria is a country located snugly between Romania’s rectum and Turkey’s taint.

In Bulgaria, it’s normal for young girls (13-17) to get pregnant and married. Last January, 11-year-old Kordeza Zhelyazkova gave birth to a child on her wedding day.

“I’m not going to play with toys any more — I have a new toy now.” (actual quote)

Kordeza was impregnated by her boyfriend Jeliazko when she was only 10-years-old — he was eighteen. Jeliazko rescued Kordeza from bullies that were tormenting her at school one day, then they fell in love. A week later Kordeza was pregnant.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant until my grandmother saw I had put on weight,” Kordeza told reporters. “I just thought I’d eaten too many burgers.”

The couple married 9 months later and their child was born during their 3-day ceremony.

Blind to the fact that this is whole thing is wrong on every rational level, the couples’ parents are overjoyed for the newlyweds: “I don’t think it matters that they are young,” says Jeliazka’s mom. “They are in love with each other and the baby. Surely that is enough.”

Because an 11-year-old knows what love is, right? C’mon!

Kordeza and her molester husband, Jeliazka — Kordeza’s house in a gypsy ghetto.

Kordeza is now arguably the world’s youngest girl to give birth.

Bonus: Jeliazka can’t even live with his wife and child until police finish an investigation against him and decide if they are going to charge him for having sex with a minor. If convicted, he faces up to 6 years in prison.

Reality: If you’re 18-years-old and fuck a 10-year-old, YOU ARE A RAPIST. It’s math.

Sources: 1

Quality Comments: There are none yet!

Please leave your comments in the comments section below.

Did I ever tell you about the time I almost banged Katie Couric?

I went to a wedding a few years ago and was surprised to find myself in the presence of CBS anchorwoman Katie Couric. After speaking with her for a few minutes, I realized that there was a burning sexual demon inside of her that wanted to be liberated… by me.

After several martinis, Katie’s defenses lowered and she found it impossible to resist me. I, however, wasn’t really feeling it. That’s when she tried to seduce me on the dance floor.

Notice the unmistakable lust in her eyes. That look says, “I want you, Dustin.”

Katie gyrates her hips to the sounds of Lil’ Jon, making multiple references to her bling.

Katie plays “Urinate on the Dance Floor.” Things are getting out of control.

At this point she’s not even interested in me anymore.

With the party winding down, Katie rabidly grinds her ass on all passersby.

I thought maybe I was going to have a chance to bang Katie, but once again alcohol ruins a perfectly good night. Except for Katie, she had a blast.

Sources: 1

Bonus: These photos are actually from the after-party celebrating Couric’s debut as anchor of the CBS Evening News in 2006. They were recently uploaded on Facebook.

Quality Comments: There are none yet!

Please leave your comments in the comments section below.

ST. PETERSBURG — 53-year-old William Wright had an obsession with masturbating to upskirt photos of unsuspecting women. He would go to grocery stores and scout for female shoppers wearing skirts (this is common in Florida) and then things would get weird.

Wright would slide his foot under womens’ skirts and record their camel toes with a camera attached to his shoe. Unfortunately, most respectable women wear panties under skirts, but the occasional beaver flash on film made it all worth it for Wright.

If you think this is impressive, you should see my toilet cam.

On Saturday, Wright was filming some cooter at a local Publix grocery store when a woman recognized him and called police. They arrived on time for once and confronted Wright.

Authorities found computer flash drives in his pocket, along with a trigger device, and two wires protruding from his pocket. The body of the camera was in Wright’s pants, and the lens was apparently attached to one of his shoes. [1]

He was arrested and charged with voyeurism.

The Japanese are far ahead of us in voyeuristic technologies. Shoe cameras are a thing of the past — perverts stopped using shoe cams once that PSA came out.

All my teenage male readers, I hope you’re taking notes.

Before you judge William Wright and the countless other perverts out there, think about this: Television networks like MTV are the biggest voyeurs of all.

A photo of Britney’s cunt was worth a small fortune before she showed us several times how frighteningly hideous it is. Paparazzis pray for crotch shots like you pray to hit the lottery, and magazines and websites publish them for profit as well.

Besides, without people like William Wright, there would be nothing to masturbate to.

Sources: 1

Bonus Lyric: Wright was catchin’ camel toes with her camera toe.

Quality Comments: “A guy wants to see where I pee.” — Ashley

Please leave your comments in the comments section below.