Cheater Woods
posted on December 2nd, 2009 by Dustin at 7:15 pm (EST) with 12 Comments
I’m going to cut straight to the point of today’s story: Tiger Woods cheated on his wife.
Pictured below is 24-year-old Jamie Grubbs, a cocktail waitress who lives in Los Angeles — she claimed that her and Woods had a 31-month affair, and then proved it.
Grubbs made headlines today after providing US Weekly with semi-scandalous voicemails from Tiger Woods. In one message, Woods is clearly panicked about getting caught:
“Hey, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone [greeting]? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. If you can, please take your name off that and just have it as a number. Just have it as your telephone number. Okay? You’ve got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.” — Actual voicemail
BUSTED!
The only purpose of this image is to lengthen the article.
Earlier today, Woods apologized publicly for his “sins” and for the “transgressions” that hurt his family, but he didn’t elaborate on any dirty details. I don’t recall exactly how the apology went, but it was something like, “I’m sorry for my sins and for transgressing my penis into that girl’s vagina. And mouth. Oh, and butthole too. K, I’m done.”
Woods’ apology comes exactly one week after being accused by the National Enquirer for fucking a completely different woman — Rachel Uchitel. Those rumors caused a fight between Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren. That night, Woods somehow crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and then a tree in front of their house at 1AM.
I’ve heard a lot of people ask the question, “Why would Tiger cheat on his beautiful wife?”
Uh yeah, maybe with twelve layers of makeup Elin Nordegren looks like a princess, but upon closer inspection, she definitely resembles Woody Harrelson.
Tiger WOODS… WOODY Harrelson… wait a minute!
Bonus: Everyone still loves Tiger Woods.
Sources: 1
Quality Comments: “He shanked his 9-iron deep into her rough.” — Stuart
“I’m sure there’s more than just that girl hes cheated on Woody Harrelson with. — Kyle”
Please leave your comments in the comments section below.
12 Comments - Leave One!
Tags: Cheating, Lies, Tiger Woods, Tragedy (not), Woody Harrelson —
Comments
Comment from Kevin
Time December 2, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I would like to see someone refuse to fuck Jamie Grubbs.
Comment from Stuart
Time December 2, 2009 at 9:33 pm
he shanked his 9-iron deep into her rough
Comment from Shannon
Time December 2, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Leave it to the psychotic chick to save a guy’s voicemails…totally reminds me of Linda Tripp/Monica Lewinski/Billary…
Comment from Don V
Time December 2, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I have no comment other than to say how did @Stuart not get \
Comment from Don V
Time December 2, 2009 at 11:58 pm
quality post
(why does this site code not like quotations?)
Comment from The Beautiful Kind
Time December 3, 2009 at 7:51 am
First of all, mad props for the Woody-Elin comparison.
Second, humans are not meant to be monogamous. It is unnatural. So Tiger Woods did not do something horrible. Just about everyone I know is non-monogamous – some are open about it, and some sneak around. It’s not a big deal. And women do it almost as much as men. Did you know that up to 30% of the babies born in this country are not the biological children of the man listed on their birth certificate?
We need to cut this shaming shit out.
Comment from Dustin
Time December 3, 2009 at 1:26 pm
That’s why I shifted the story to why he probably cheated on Woody, rather than judging him for it 
Comment from maxscene
Time December 3, 2009 at 8:54 pm
im not even gay and id fuck Jamie Grubbs over Mrs. woods haha
Comment from Lucy
Time December 3, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Lmao, what a moron!
Comment from patrick
Time December 3, 2009 at 11:03 pm
I’d rather fuck the cocktail waitress too. fuck that woody harrelson look-a-like bitch.
Comment from katbox
Time January 5, 2010 at 7:39 pm
He drives well on the fairway, but does not fare well on the driveway.
Comment from Kyle
Time December 2, 2009 at 7:55 pm
im sure there’s been more than just that gurl hes cheated on his woody harrelson with.