You probably know by now that Brittany Murphy died yesterday. I was going to wait until after Brittany’s autopsy results to write an appropriate memorial article for her, but I became annoyed by a certain recurring Brittany Murphy death joke.

“I was CLUELESS all day that Brittany Murphy died!”

Oh, I get it — she was in the film Clueless, and you were clueless that — shut the fuck up.

I’m all for witty celebrity death jokes, and I generally start thinking of my own death jokes right after a celebrity dies. But is there any humor in Brittany Murphy’s death? Not really.

Brittany was good-lookin’ and this planet can’t afford to lose any more hot women, so it’s damn near always a tragedy when we do. Who’s next, Jennifer Love Hewitt? I might as well just cut my penis off if that happens — it’s been my life goal to bang JLH since I was 5.

I hope Jennifer Love Hewitt lives forever.