It’s a well-known fact that elderly people drive like shit. They drive like they have all the time in the world to get to their destination, while not paying attention to a goddamn thing around them. However, unlike women drivers, old drivers are predictable and easy to avoid, thus making them far less dangerous than women.

Technically, the worst drivers in the world are elderly women: Combine the slowness and absentmindedness of a senior citizen with the naturally terrible driving skills of a woman, and you have created the ultimate rolling disaster.

In a perfect world, men would rule the highway while women nagged at us from the passenger seat (or trunk, preferably) — but our world is not perfect, so we take it in stride.

FLORIDA — Despite the dangers of having women — especially old ones — driving around, I do not agree with what happened to 78-year-old Gabrielle Shaink Trudeau.

Police pulled Ol’ Gabby over in September for driving too slow and ticketed her for also driving on a suspended license. When she got confused and failed to show up at court in November, three police officers drove to Gabby’s home and arrested her.

“They came on real strong, like I had killed somebody or something,” she told reporters.

Gabby was taken to jail and attended her pre-trial the next day. The pre-trial services division found that she was eligible for release on her own recognizance, but forgot to tell the judge. Oblivious to everything, the judge ordered Gabby back to jail until her trial.

Gabrielle Shaink Trudeau, 78, claims the years have not been kind to her (or her face).

Gabby spent two unnecessary weeks in jail, including Thanksgiving. The courts realized their mistake on December 2nd, the morning of Gabby’s trial. “Why the fuck has this old lady been in jail for two weeks,” they wondered. “Dude, we forgot to tell the judge to let her go!”

The judge was stunned and eager to apologize. “She’s got chains around her waist and handcuffs in front around her hands as if she was some kind of a violent criminal,” he said. “I want her released. I think she’s suffered enough at our system’s mistakes.”

And that’s it. Nobody got fired or punished severely.

The court system is like a selfish child. There’s no real punishment for the judges and attorneys when they “accidentally” fuck up someone’s life and then turn around and hypocritically say, “Ignorance is no excuse to break the law — you are going to jail.”

The people at fault here should serve two weeks in jail on felony dickbrain charges.

Sources: 1

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