NEW YORK — The subway in New York City is a fascinating place. You could be sitting next to a fashion model with mouth-watering tits one minute, and the next, you’ll find yourself in the company of five knife-wielding gang members with tattoos of snakes on their necks.

Gang members are always scary, but when they have snake tattoos, it’s terrifying.

I went to school with this nerd named Jeremy. He would get beat up every day at lunch by the school bully, and would run home crying. One day, Jeremy joined a gang and got a snake tattoo on his neck and since then, the bully has been afraid of him.

The truth is, Jeremy never joined a gang because he was too much of a pussy. He just showed everyone the black eye that his father gave him the previous night and claimed he was initiated into the Black Panthers — even though he was white (and only 11-years-old).

And you probably already guessed that his tattoo wasn’t real either. Well, actually it was — but he got hepatitis from the needle in the tattoo gun. That’s what happens when you get a tattoo from your friend’s older brother who’s also a junkie.

So even though Jeremy stopped getting picked on, he died about two years later from hepatitis-related injuries. At his funeral, he had makeup on his neck to hide the tattoo.

I completely forgot where I was going with story, so here’s a video taken in a New York subway train of a man playing with a live chicken. Nobody knows who this man is, or what he’s doing with a chicken, but one thing is for sure: he’s fucking awesome.

Quality Comments: “Nice! He’s wearing an MTA uniform shirt, which means he works for the subway. Must be part of the voodoo campaign to end delays on the 2 train.” — Cock Fogbank

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