Everyone knows at least one crazy ghetto chick who threatens to “cut you” when she’s angry. 18-year-old Carina Bernard is one of those girls, except she really will cut you. In the face. And then stab your cousin.

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK — Shantayah Lewis, 16, and her cousin Shakeena Grant, 15, were attacked in broad daylight on Friday by a knife-wielding Carina Bernard.

The whole thing started over a boy, of course. Pretend you’re in high school for a minute: Carina is furious because she’s dating Darnell, but he used to date Shantayah’s cousin Shakeena’s sister — oh, that’s a stabbin’.

Carina Bernard approached Shantayah first and slashed a giant V into her face like Zorro, or in this case, Vorro.

Shakeena was also stabbed once, although her wound hardly seems worth mentioning when compared to the carnage inflicted on her cousin’s face. Plus, Shakeena was supposedly the one talkin’ the most smack up until the stabbing occurred. Way to go, cuz!

Both girls managed to escape certain death and fled to a nearby family member’s house. Police announced yesterday that Carina Bernard was arrested and charged for the stabbing. She was also nominated for “Best Psycho” in the mock awards at school.

STAYING POSITIVE

I hope that Shantayah realizes that this isn’t the end of the world for her. She just needs people in her life like her Grandma, who says positive things about her face like, “Now it’s going to be all messed up.” [1]

In primitive cultures, facial scars are a sign of power. Warriors have been known to secretly cut their own faces while out hunting, and then run back to the village and claim they survived a dragon attack.

Talent agents are always seeking out people with deformities — excuse me, “genetic blessings” — and scars because special effects are quite costly.

Tina Fey has a scar on her face, and she’s got over 350,000 followers on Twitter.

I’ve got a scar on my lip from when I faceplanted into a coffee table when I was a kid. I’ve also got a chicken pox scar on my face and similar-looking one caused by a pimple when I was fourteen. A ladder fell on my head once and I got three stitches from that too.

I’d trade all of those shitty scars in for a brutal gash like Shantayah’s. It’s a man thing.

Sources: 1