I just spent a few seconds pondering what life would be like if women grew ears of corn at the end of their breasts.

Everyday female life would be drastically different if God suddenly replaced their beautiful nipples with unsightly yellow cock-shaped vegetables.

Women would have to keep their nipplecorns lubricated to prevent them from drying out and shriveling.

Squirrels and other corn-loving animals would be a danger to women who are unable to defend their nipplecorns.

Sleeping women are at risk of having their nipplecorns pillaged by nocturnal critters.

Nipplecorns would have to be removed prior to burning a dead woman’s body, unless you want to be picking popnipplecorn out of her ashes.

Popnipplecorn would a delicacy. Most of the popnipplecorn would be produced in China, but we don’t know why yet.

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