I made a couple small improvements to Sidecarsally and wanted to let the readers know. First off, you will no longer lose a year off your life expectancy after visiting the site. Instead, the areolas around your nipples will grow 0.5mm in diameter every time you visit.

Enhanced Comment Features

Facebook only has a “Like” button, but that’s not enough for hateful people. The Sidecarsally comments section has been enhanced to allow readers to vote on whether they love or hate a comment, so make your comments special because people are waiting for an excuse to use that “Hate” button.

If your comment gets down-voted too many times, you will be labeled an asshole. Take pride in it because it’s a lot easier to make a person hate you than love you, especially if you’re as good-looking as me.

If your comment gets up-voted 20 times, you’ll be labeled as a “Legendary Commenter” — a title that holds the same importance as “King of Hot Dogs” and “Princess of Handjobs.”

Connect With Other Sidecarsally Readers!

It’s a well-known fact that Sidecarsally readers are some of the most attractive, intelligent, and wonderful people in the world. TIME Magazine once said that reading Sidecarsally every day is the internet equivalent of getting penis enlargement surgery on your brain.

Why wouldn’t you want to be a part of the Sidecarsally community? That’s a trick question because obviously EVERYONE want to be a part of it — and now it’s easier than ever! If you have a Google, Twitter, AIM, or Yahoo account, you can directly connect to SCS.

Don’t worry, no login information is stored — Google made the application, and they claim to care about your privacy. Once signed in, you can do all kinds of amazing life-changing shit like spy on other Sidecarsally readers, send them messages, and see what other sites they visit regularly. If this sounds like fun to you, click “Join this site” on the right and log in — it’s easier than using a calculator on a first grade math test.

Edit: Some people thought I meant to click on the mailing list button — Google Friend Connect is underneath that.