I spent wasted 7 minutes yesterday writing an article about a girl that quit her job in a “clever” way — via e-mail and dry erase board. Turns out, the whole FAKE story was concocted by two men named Asshole 1 and Asshole 2 to promote their website. They hired an actress named Elyse Porterfield Asshole 3 to play the role of “Jenny.”

I wasn’t the only one that fell for it though. Millions of people tweeted about it and posted links to the original story on Facebook. Both Jenny and the creators of the website admitted everything was all jokes, and even posted several more dry erase board photos of “Jenny” explaining the hoax. But everything isn’t all jokes and I’ll explain why.

Why TheChive.com Should Eat Your Shit

Upon entering TheChive.com, you see the slogan “Probably the Best Site in the World,” so you immediately know it’s probably not at all. A recent post on the page shows a list of the “best links on the internet,” but at the bottom there’s a link you can follow to have your website added to that list for a whole week. And it only costs $1000.

“The best links on the internet come from the people that send us the most money.” It’s clear these people have no morals, which isn’t a bad thing unless combined with greed.

Interesting fact: Asshole 1 and 2 have been responsible for a couple other hoaxes that nobody remembers. Their formula goes like this: make a hoax, get hits, whore for ad money, and then it’s back to sucking dicks until the next big hoax.

While the content on TheChive.com is mainly just re-tagged photos from failblog.org and other meme and lolcat sites, it’s mostly TRUTHFUL content. That’s another reason why so many people believed the latest hoax. If this was done for genuine LULZ, I wouldn’t mind so much, but it wasn’t — It was done strictly so TheChive could finance their collective addiction to Valtrex and spam us with shitty links from advertisers. We got trolled.

When the Balloon Boy’s parents did this shit, they went to jail.

I promise you all one thing: If I ever fabricate a nationwide hoax, it will be a fuck of a lot better than one about a girl that quits her office job. Sorry, guys.