ILLINOIS — Ronald McIntyre is better known by his friends as “Boobie” in Chicago. When police arrived at Boobie’s place last Tuesday to arrest him for owing over $5,000 in child support, he made a quick getaway by jumping out of a third floor window.

“The grass down there will break my fall,” thought Boobie. Less than a second later, he was laying on a slab of green painted concrete with two broken legs. No wonder nobody ever mowed that part of the lawn — Boobie just thought it was magical grass.

Despite being seriously injured, Boobie was attempting to crawl away from the scene when police arrested him on the ground. An ambulance took him to the hospital where he was treated for compound fractures to both legs and other injuries.

Child-support evasion is just another charge to add to Boobie’s lengthy criminal record. With 80 criminal convictions ranging from assault to invasion of privacy, he serves as a supreme example of everything that is wrong with America’s legal system. I fully support due process, but after 50 convictions, a person should be lobotomized and castrated because they clearly have no value as a functioning, reproducing human.

Boobie is due back in court on October 19th. Until then, he will be waiting in jail, completely free on his own recognizance and trying real hard to make another baby.

Maybe if there weren’t so many people in jail and prison for shit like marijuana possession, there would actually be more room for real criminals and deadbeat overpopulators.

Just a thought.

Sources: 1