I decided to write a brief update on yesterday’s story for two reasons:

1) I found pictures of Tila Tequila performing topless on stage moments before the mob of juggalos chased her and security into a trailer. You know you want to see boobs.

As for the second reason, there isn’t one. “Boobs” is the only reason I need for anything.

As you can see in the photos above, Tila had not been struck in the face with anything prior to going topless. It wasn’t until she exposed her tits that the situation grew too dangerous to perform. It is a very rare phenomenon for naked breasts to fail at putting a smile on a man’s face, and even more rare when a violent reaction occurs.

I spent hours trying to figure it out: “Why did the juggalos get more violent when Tila’s jugs came out? It just doesn’t make sense.” With no answers in sight, I tried to imagine myself as an angry juggalo — still nothing. Finally, I went on Youtube and watched a Tila Tequila music video. All of a sudden, everything was clear to me.

Have you ever actually heard a Tila Tequila song? I didn’t think so. I have though, and I regret it more than anything I’ve done in a long time — and I do a lot of regretful things. I once let fire ants crawl into my peehole, and pissing them out didn’t cause as much pain as that Tila Tequila song did to my ear drums. I actually contemplated suicide.

Imagine if Ke$ha sang a rap song while getting gang banged by a Nickelback cover band. Meanwhile, a drunk Paris Hilton, suspended in the air by a harness, is shitting on all of them from above and recording the sound on her iPhone with the T-Pain auto-tune app.

It’s seriously that bad. And if you don’t believe me, the photo below is final proof that even tits can’t save Tila Tequila’s music career. Still though, I cant help but think that she would’ve gained some juggalo respect if she had put some clown makeup on her nipples.

The juggalos displayed a powerful immunity to naked female breasts.

Editor’s Note: I had nothing to do with the censored nipples in the bottom photo.

Update: A reader name Andrew submitted this video from Newsky.com. It explains how Tila was warned that an attack on her was imminent, but she refused to withdrawal. Watch the video, and try not to be bothered by the stench of desperation.

pp

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