I was just about to prepare a story about a mother who was charged with child abuse for influencing her infant son to smoke marijuana, but then I heard about Canadian filmmaker Rob Spence and his ROBOT EYE. Sorry, but robot eye > weed baby.

Spence damaged his right eye with a gun when he was younger, and after multiple surgeries on it throughout his life, doctors finally advised that he get it removed.

“We did all we could, but you should seriously just take that thing out,” they said.

Immediately, he thought of implanting a bionic eyeball that could record all of his memories. “Fuck this useless eyeball,” he said. “Take it out. I’ve got something better in mind.”

After working with a team of volunteer engineers from Australia, it took only 3 months to build the first prototype “Eyeborg.” Since then, Spence has been posting all of his blowjobs online having a great time. He’s even working on a documentary using the eye footage.

Spence often takes his eye out to scare the neighborhood children.

The robot eye is made up of a “1.5mm-square low-resolution video camera, a round circuit board, a video transmitter and a three-volt rechargeable battery, all contained in the clear acrylic used to make prosthetic eyes.” Unfortunately, it can’t see through clothing… yet.

The quality of the footage is comparable to a typical phone camera used by regular perverts. Nipples look highly pixelated, and the further the lens is from a vagina, the uglier it looks — it’s usually the other way around in real life.

While Spence denies any plans to use his robot eye for voyeuristic purposes, we can pretty much assume that he is completely lying about that. But hey, I won’t mind just as long as he upgrades to a better camera soon. I’m not going to pay a subscription to a porn site with low-quality cell phone videos unless the chicks are so ugly that it doesn’t matter.

In the future, everyone will have robot eyes and the government will be able to patch into our video feeds and spy on our daily lives. We should all just kill ourselves now.

Source: 1