TORONTO — A massive tractor trailer hauling live pigs to the slaughterhouse flipped over on the freeway Monday morning. The driver was speeding and simply “lost control.”

Out of the 235 pigs on board, 81 died in the crash and 7 more were injured and put down. That’s a lot of wasted Kevin Bacons. Sadly, the driver was not injured. He did, however, receive a ticket for careless driving. No involuntary pig slaughter charges though.

About 50 hogs escaped from the wreckage and it took firefighters 8 hours to round them all up. They created a barrier with their ladders and forced the momentarily-free survivors onto a different trailer where they were re-inspected and then released slaughtered if OK. If deemed “unfit for slaughter,” they were released slaughtered anyway, just not eaten.

Unlike Chicago and New York, Toronto actually has a decent highway system to handle the ridonkulous amount of shitty drivers in the area. After the pig spill, police were able to divert traffic onto a parallel road, but extreme gawking still slowed everything to a crawl.

“Move along, everyone. Jesus, you’d think these people have never seen a pig spill before.”

I would have no problem waiting in a long ass traffic jam if I got to see a bunch of pigs that escaped on their way to the slaughterhouse. That sounds like the plot of a Disney movie, except way more depressing because all of these pigs died in the end.

Many people claim pigs are more intelligent than dogs and children. Some pigs can even tell the difference between food and their own feces.

I guess the lesson here is this: In order to decrease the number of intelligent pigs being slaughtered, we must increase the number of children that we eat.

Bonus: Less than a week ago, another truck carrying 729 pigs flipped over — 365 pigs were killed in that accident. Both accidents happened within 50 miles apart.

Sources:1, 2