VIRGINIA — Andrew Perry is always on the lookout for shoplifters at his Halloween Express costume store. When he caught an 18-year-old stealing from his store this week, he gave the thief an ultimatum: Jail, or 6 humiliating hours of sign-holding in a Bert costume.

Perry made the unidentified teen stand outside his store for 6 hours over two days, holding a sign that read “I got caught shoplifting at Halloween Express.” Entertained customers laughed and took photos, and then news cameras showed up.

Perry said he offered the shoplifting teen a lighter punishment because a criminal record would have harmed the teen’s future — which is very bright, I’m sure.

The teen’s identity was also kept private, although the news cameras made it a point to zoom in on his bare hands, as if to say, “Look everyone — he’s BLACK!”

I always thought the punishment for shoplifting in Virginia was getting raped in the woods. That means there is at least one adult male in Virginia that isn’t a racist or rapist — unless Perry IS a racist, and he was using the black kid as his personal slave to get publicity.

Damn, I thought I would be able to put at least one stereotype to rest today.

Have you ever been caught for shoplifting? Don’t be ashamed, comment below!

Sources: 1