Shake it up baby now
posted on October 28th, 2010 by Dustin at 12:45 pm (EST) with 9 Comments
FLORDA — A 22-year-old mother from Jacksonville has pleaded guilty to murdering her infant son because he wouldn’t stop crying while she was playing Farmville.
Alexandra Tobias told police that when her three-month-old son Dylan wouldn’t stop interrupting her Farmville session with his cries, she shook the daylights out of him. When the baby stopped crying, Tobias sat on the couch to smoke a cigarette.
Supposedly, the family dog knocked the baby off the couch and he began to cry again. Furious, Tobias grabbed the baby and shook him until he stopped breathing. Tobias also claimed that her son’s head “could have” smashed into her computer during the abuse.
Tobias pleaded guilty to second degree murder and is awaiting sentencing. She faces 25 years to life in prison for her actions, but hopes to receive a lesser sentence because her farm has been neglected since she was arrested in January. Right now, there are virtual chickens and pigs running rampant, and corn is totally growing in the potatoes’ spot.
10% of Facebook users play Farmville, and 99% of those people are complete fuckhats. The remaining 1% are a few of my personal friends, and my mom — yeah, she plays it too.
9 Comments - Leave One!
Tags: babies, Bad Parenting, Death, Farmville, Florida, Murder —
Comments
Comment from starastic1
Time October 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Maybe she confused the baby with a shake weight.
Comment from Peggy
Time October 28, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Dear Lord. What a cunt.
Comment from iLORA
Time October 28, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Ok so my grandmother will not get off of the iphones version of farmville.
WTF.
Oh yeah and floridians are FUCKING CRAZY.
Comment from Peaches:)
Time October 29, 2010 at 6:12 pm
I promised that I would never contradict the god that is Sidecarsally and now I gotta go and break that promise and write a fabulous article about how glorious FV (Farmville) is.
P.S. If one’s farm is left untended the crops wilt, assface! XD
P.P.S I’ll be tagging you in that article…..if I ever get around to writing it AFTER I harvest my crops! 
P.P.P.S. Tell your mom to add me as a friend/neighbor on FV Qamara Peaches Black
P.P.P.P.S. I’m pretty much proving that whole FV players = fuckhats equation with all these post scripts aren’t I. Yeah I thought so. *hangs head in shame but forgets about it in 30 seconds whilst playing FARMVILLE!* Muhahahahaha >:D
Okay I’m done
Comment from Peaches:)
Time October 29, 2010 at 6:55 pm
You know, I promised myself that I would never contradict the god that is sidecarsally…..and now I must break that promise by writing a counter article about the glorious-ness (so not a word but it should be) and divinity of FV (Farmville)!
P.S. When left unattended, one’s crops will wilt. It is most unpleasant, assface! XD
P.P.S. Tell your mom to add me dude. I’m a level 70 something player. Qamara Peaches Black. Good lookin’ out 
P.P.P.S. I’ll tag you in that article….if I ever get around to writing it after I finish harvesting my crops!
P.P.P.P.S. I’m pretty much proving that equation that FV players = fuckhats with all these post scripts aren’t I? I thought so. *Walks away hanging head in shame……..but cheers up rather quickly after accepting gifts from neighbors on FARMVILLE!!* Muhahahaha >:D
Comment from Zoltan H.
Time October 29, 2010 at 7:59 pm
“…because her farm has been neglected since she was arrested in January”
Not even sure where to start with that one 
Comment from Amanda
Time November 2, 2010 at 8:02 am
I am proud to say I am not a felllow Farmville user. But for real? Banging ur child’s head against the screen is NOT the miracle fertilizer. I think u actually have to purchase that shit.
Comment from MaciejRataj
Time April 14, 2011 at 9:48 am
I see nothing wrong in the women’s behaviour. I wish she was imprisoned somewhere closer to me, I would prabobly visited her.
I wish I had a girlfriend, nobody wants me, and thats just another girl getting inprisoned instead of getting a boyfriend : (.
Pingback from Tweets that mention sidecarsally ยป Shake it up baby now – your daily source of cynicism and offbeat news. — Topsy.com
Time October 28, 2010 at 1:22 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dustin, Belovedlilith. Belovedlilith said: RT @sidecarsally: True story: Young mother murdered her 3-month-old son because he was crying a lot while she was playing Farmville http://t.co/GWTrmas [...]