I can’t wait until the day when a violent earthquake rips California from the west coast of North America and sends it spinning out of control into the Arctic Sea.

For the second time in two years, Californian elections have stunned me.

In 2008, gay peoples’ right to get married was revoked by the same voters who chose a liberal president with the campaign slogan “CHANGE!” In other words, voters went out of their way to commit a political hate crime on gay people. Homophobia, the new racism!

Whoever created Proposition 8 originally tried to name it The Protecting The Sacredness of Marriage From Dirty Butt Pirates and Bush Lickers Act, but that was too long. It was decided that a shorter and vaguer name would be better: The Marriage Protection Act.

Last night, California voters said “fuck freedom,” and voted NO on Proposition 19, which would have legalized marijuana (including cultivation) for adult recreational use.

But NO — they didn’t want it badly enough. About one million responsible stoners turned up to support Proposition 19, while millions of other lazy burnouts sat at home in a daze of retardation. “We don’t need to vote, dude. Prop 19 will pass. Now pass that joint, bro.”

Thousands of drug dealers and pot growers voted against Prop 19 because they would have to get real jobs if marijuana were legalized. The price of weed would go WAY down due to customers growing their own ganja, and the black market would diminish a bit.

Basically, the Republicans and career drug dealers are on one team — Team Hardcore. The Democrats, stoners, and gays are on another team — Team Kinda-Lazy.

The fucked up part is that 85% of California’s population probably supports both gay marriage AND legalizing marijuana — but not even half of them are registered to vote.

The only negative thing I can say about marijuana is that it makes stupid worthless assholes about 100 times worse. These types of burnouts give the drug a bad reputation. Much like alcohol, most peoples’ lives are not negatively affected by marijuana if they are responsible adults to begin with. Self-control + common sense = Win.

Unfortunately, powerful religious lobbyist groups decided many decades ago what we can legally enjoy, so even if a responsible adult has the desire to smoke a joint, they can’t.

And last night proved that California is OK with that, which is why I’m praying for a meteor to smash into Humboldt County tonight. You better start building an ark, motherfuckers!