FLORIDA — Last week, I wrote about how Tommie McKeliver was arrested for throwing a tasty corn dog at his girlfriend. The tables are turned this week, and a woman has been arrested for assaulting her boyfriend with a delicious traditional Latin American meal.

30-year-old Adyan Sanchez was eating dinner with her boyfriend Robert Olvera and their one-year-old son when a feud broke out. Arguments were exchanged, and then Olvera called Sanchez a bitch. In response, she tossed a plate of tamales on his lap.

Rather than controlling the situation by asserting his male dominance, Olvera called 911 on his girlfriend. When the police arrived, they noticed tamale sauce all over Olvera’s pants.

According to the police report, Sanchez said “she threw the tamales on him because she is not going to let him call her a bitch in front of her son and get away with it.”

That excuse wasn’t good enough for the officers, so they arrested Sanchez on a misdemeanor battery charge. She was released from jail after posting $500 bond.

Depending on the ingredients inside, tamales can be quite uncomfortable if rubbed in the eyes, or inserted anally — Chile peppers cause burning pain in most body orifices. However, even when being wielded as a weapon, tamales should never be feared.

“Evil bunnies kill far more people each year than tamales.” — Wikipedia

If a man marries a woman capable of physically harming him, that’s his own dumbass fault — he shouldn’t ask the police for backup. That’s not what 911 is for. Grow some balls!

In fact, if you’re an embarrassingly weak guy trapped in a relationship with an abusive woman, you should probably just keep it to yourself forever and suffer silently.

It’s sad that police officers will even arrest a woman for attacking her boyfriend. I guess the days when a man would get laughed at for having an abusive spouse are gone.

Sources: 1