CONNECTICUT — Police arrested 48-year-old Jose Delcid and charged him with reckless burning after he started a fire outside of a friend’s home Monday night. Delcid later admitted that he burned a pile of hats outside to keep demons away from the house.

Delcid told police that he “smoked something that he thinks had bad marijuana in it,” a few days prior to the incident. After that, he started seeing demons at his friend’s house, and claimed that a mysterious “bad smell” was lingering in many places.

Delcid burned the hats 10 feet from the home because they “had a stink to them,” and the smoke kept the demons at bay. Unfortunately, the smoke also drifted back into the building, and his friend’s wife thought the basement was on fire, so she called for help.

Police were dispatched to the home, where they arrested Delcid for starting the fire. Despite having a known history of severe mental illness, he was turned away from the Norwalk Hospital psychiatric unit because, demons or not, they don’t admit fire starters.

“Sorry, we can’t treat this patient. We already have enough issues with chronic masturbation, suicide, and people wiping shit on the walls. We don’t need to add FIRES to the list.”

Due to the hospital’s anti-pryo policy, a judge ordered Delcid to seek his own substance abuse and mental health therapy. Chances are good that he will never receive the proper mental treatment that he needs, and is likely to see demons again in the near future.

On a side note:

I have a problem with the term bad marijuana because it’s often used incorrectly to describe PCP-laced weed that makes people freak out. That is NOT the weed’s fault. When your dog shits on the carpet, you don’t scold the cat instead and call it bad, do you?

Sources: 1