On Super Bowl Sunday, Christina Aguilera shamed America after botching the lyrics to the national anthem. During her overblown 57-minute-long version of “Star-Spangled Banner,” Aguilera replaced the lyrics “o’er the ramparts we watched” with “what so proudly we watched.”

Actually, it was more like this: “WhaaAaaaaaaaAAATtttt sSooOoOoOO PrrOOOOOUUUUDDDdddLLlLYyyYY weeEeEee waaAattTtcccHHHeddDDD!”

Seconds later, she was applauded by the oblivious crowd that clearly didn’t know the correct lyrics either. Luckily, a few true patriots recognized the mistake and tweeted about it immediately.

The next day, Aguilera was confronted by interviewers who asked her what happened.

“I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place,” she said. “I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through.”

A true patriot knows that the most important thing you can do for your country is to know every single word of the national anthem, even if it contains language that isn’t used anymore — like O’er.

The order of patriotic duties goes like this: 1) Know the national anthem. 2) Join the military. 3) Vote.

Notice that I mentioned nothing about paying taxes — only singing, fighting, and voting.

As far as I’m concerned, if you don’t know the lyrics to your own country’s national anthem, or you applaud a person that fucks the lyrics of it up, then you might as well be a goddamn Nazi.

This reminds me that I need to brush up on those lyrics myself.