Brach’s is the sweets company that produces candy corn — the number one selling candy in the United States. If you searched through a million pieces of Brach’s candy corn, you may find one piece that is shaped like a human penis. There’s a reason for this: People that work in candy factories get bored.

Brach’s also produces candy hearts for Valentine’s Day. The hearts have romantic phrases printed on them that say things like “BE MINE,” “IT’S YOURS,” and “NICE TITS!” Wait a minute, “Nice tits?”

12-year-old Ciara Bush was munchin’ down (this sentence already sounds so wrong) on a bag of Brach’s candy hearts, when she came across the cheeky compliment on her lady bumps.

“I thought it was kinda shocking,” said Bush. “I was reading them and I brought it to my mom.”

Her parents were also stunned by the message. Their little Ciara had only recently started puberty, if at all. She probably won’t have nice tits for at least another two and a half years.

Bush’s parents have no plans to sue Brach’s for the mistake, which is good because nobody likes a frivolous lawsuit — except for this guy. They could have easily said that the perverted message shattered their daughter’s self-confidence, traumatized her, and gave her nightmares.

Her father e-mailed Brach’s and received a quick response from the company. They asked him to mail the entire bag of candy back to them so they could investigate what caused the “misprint.”

Maybe it was supposed to say “NICE TATS,” as in tattoos. People are calling them that these days. If someone ever says that I have “nice tats,” I say back, “Tats? Oh, are you talking about my tits?”

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