There are over a million uses for duct tape, but only half of them are legal. Using duct tape to secure a toddler to a plastic chair is one of the many ways to have fun with it — just don’t take a photo of yourself standing next to the poor kid. And whatever you do, do NOT show that photo to the police.

I thought nobody in the world would ever do that, but I was wrong — 21-year-old Caira Ferguson did.

Ferguson’s recent actions were so appallingly idiotic that even the police are still scratching their heads in confusion. What I gathered from multiple sources is that Ferguson walked into a police station to report that her identity had been stolen. Then, she showed them a photo of what appeared to be her posing with her 2-year-old daughter duct taped to a chair, and said something like:

“This ain’t me or my baby, but someone stole my identity and is posting things online like this.”

The photo had been posted on a site called MediaTakeOut.com. When Ferguson saw that it went viral, rather than laying low until people forgot about it, she accidentally turned herself in.

Ferguson walked out of the police station that day, but was arrested at her home shortly after. A quick background check showed that she had outstanding arrest warrants, so the cops went to her home, searched it, and found the same plastic chair with pieces of duct tape still on it. According to the police, she denied everything at first, but later confessed. She was charged with child endangerment.

The child was taken from Ferguson and placed in the state’s custody. Her grandmother, who was allegedly home when the abuse took place, also had children removed from her care.

I can almost imagine her screaming, “NOT MY BABIES,” as the social workers carried them away.

Although Ferguson admitted her guilt to the police, she told news cameras that she was innocent. “I did not duct tape my daughter,” she said. Sweet title for a Metal song — “I Did Not Duct Tape My Daughter.”

Police Chief Ken Coalson insisted she was guilty. “She told us that it is her in the photograph, but that she did not post it,” he told a reporter. “She said someone else stole her identity and posted it.”

Sounds like this was just another case of a dumbass that walked into the police station to file a complaint, but ended up getting arrested for having outstanding warrants.

Sources: 1, 2