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CALIFORNIA — Christopher Carroll managed to land himself in the jail house and the dog house in one night after driving 40 miles at excess speeds while his terrified wife clung to the hood of their minivan.

According to police, Carroll and his wife were arguing at home, and then he decided to leave. His wife climbed onto the hood of the minivan, thinking that would stop him from driving off, but it didn’t.

It may also be important to mention that Carroll was high on meth that night.

It was the middle of the night, and temperatures were in the low 30s. Carroll asked himself “What would Charlie Sheen do?” Then he peeled out of the driveway while his wife clung to a wiper blade.

Startled witnesses called 911 to report what they saw, and one witness followed Carroll as he raced down a Northern California freeway, reaching speeds of 100 mph. He didn’t slow down at all for about 40 miles, but when he finally did, his wife rolled off the vehicle and was picked up by a witness.

She was taken to the hospital where she was treated for hypothermia and given a stuntman award.

After ditching his wife, Carroll drove back home where he was arrested and charged with attempted murder and domestic violence. He’s being incarcerated without bail until his trial.

The attempted murder charge seems a little harsh to me because if he was trying to kill her, he could’ve just swerved the vehicle a little or stopped really fast. That always works in the movies.

Slamming on the gas, and then the brakes, and then the gas again would also be pretty fun. It would make her face bash on the windshield a couple of times, and then she’d have fallen off for sure.

Bonus: A week before this happened, Carroll was arrested for being under the influence of a controlled substance after a witness said he climbed into a large trash bin and threatened to drown himself in the small amount of rainwater that had collected in the bottom.

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