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PENNSYLVANIA — During a police-ordered cavity search of a Scranton woman, a doctor found 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty heroin bags, 8.5 prescription pills, and $51.22 inside her vagina.

It all started when 27-year-old Karin Mackaliunas crashed her car last Sunday. If the crash was not caused by the discomfort from having over 100 items jammed up her uterus, then she must have crashed and then stuffed her box with drugs before the police arrived.

This photo was taken from Karin’s Myspace page. You’d hit it (if there was room for your penis).

When the cops arrived at the scene, they were helpful towards Karin until they received word that she was suspected of burglarizing a local inn. She was detained immediately and searched. Unfortunately, she didn’t have room in her vagina for the 3 remaining bags of heroin that police found in her jacket.

She was arrested on drug possession charges and transported to the police station, but on the way there, an officer noticed her shifting around uncomfortably in the back seat.

“Looks ike she’s got a bunch of heroin and money jammed in her cunt, or something,” the cop thought.

Back at the station, Karin refused a more intrusive search of her orifice. She asked to speak to the sergeant, and admitted to having her beaver stuffed. Due to the risk of overdosing if the heroin ruptured inside her body, she was taken to a hospital to have the items extracted from her gash.

She was charged with possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and two counts of possession of a controlled substance. Sadly, her Google profile reads: “I have a 3 year old daughter who keeps me very very busy!”

That kingpin daughter of hers is going to have to find a new mommy to push her smack.

Sources: 1