CANADA — Administrators at Etchemins High School in Quebec have suspended a faculty member without pay until they can decide whether or not to terminate her for moonlighting as a porn actress.

Her stage name is Samantha Ardente, but more people know her by that name than her real one because of her role in the porn flick Serial Abusers 2. When she wasn’t getting plowed for money on film, she was working a clerical job at the high school. Holding two jobs (and two dicks) was easy.

Everything was fine until a kid at school recognized Ardente from Serial Abusers 2 and asked her for an autograph. She refused and told him to keep it a secret, so the little prick immediately told all his friends.

Within days, every straight male student and faculty member at the school had watched the video. The janitor had watched it about 30 times and called in sick to watch it some more.

Next thing you know, there was only one subject being taught: Samantha Ardente’s Vagina 101.

Administrators swiftly suspended Ardente from work without pay for two weeks until the school board can decide what action to take. “What she did was inappropriate,” said one teacher, who refused to give his name, but probably also masturbated to the video. Others are defending her right to privacy.

“This proves that school personnel are underpaid,” said one person.

All the fuss about her video is unnecessary because Ardente doesn’t even interact with students due to her position at the school. As for her position in porn, that changes a lot, depending on the scene.

Regardless of Ardente’s fate as a high school office worker, she at least has a good chance at returning to porn. If you want to show your support for her, join her new Facebook fan page. Warning: The fan page contains hundreds, maybe thousands of French Canadian people speaking a weird language.

I’d be willing to bet that students would pay more attention in class if their teachers were porn stars.

Sources: 1, 2