PENNSYLVANIA — Police arrested a man last month for burglarizing a house and damaging two cars during a drug-induced psychotic frenzy. The man later claimed he thought electricity was chasing him.

Seth Thomas Sanders was driving his car when the effects of the drugs hit him. “He thought [his car] was melting and electricity was following him,” police said, so he got out and started running.

The electricity wouldn’t stop following him though — it was everywhere. Terrified, Sanders broke into a house for refuge, but the homeowner scared him away. He ran to a different house and broke into a garage, but the electricity continued to torment him. He left the garage and kept running.

Sanders eventually came to two cars, which he damaged by jumping on their hoods. One of the cars was a marked police cruiser with a cop inside it. The officer got out and promptly arrested him.

Sanders was under the influence of a legal drug commonly referred to as “bath salts,” but a better name for the stuff would be “meth salts” because its chemical composition is similar to methamphetamine.

Bath salts didn’t become popular until lawmakers banned a different synthetic drug known as K2, or Spice. K2 mimics the effects of marijuana, but it has sent people to the hospital with bad trips.

Earlier this month, the government banned five of the main mind-altering ingredients used to make K2, but guess what immediately took its place? Fucking bath salts. Bath salts will undoubtedly be banned soon, but when that happens, it will be replaced with something even worse.

Since the ban on K2, the same amount of people are being admitted to the hospital for bad trips because they just quit smoking K2 and started using bath salts instead — and most of them are teens.

Are you intelligent enough to see the cycle happening? Pretty soon everything will be illegal, and then people will inhale the fumes of fermented feces and urine to get high. Oh wait, they do that already.

The point is, people will always find ways to get high. When those drugs get taken away, new ones will replace them until all they’re left with is bottles of their own smelly shit to huff on.

Once things in North America get so bad that people start huffing “butthash,” the government will probably introduce new laws which force everyone to submit fecal activity reports.

Sources: 1, 2