FLORIDA — Florida lawmakers fighting to ban baggy pants from public schools might want to rethink the consequences of doing so, especially after a teenager’s life was saved because he was sagging.

Kendrick Williams thanks his loose jeans for allowing him to escape from the jaws of a vicious alligator near his home in St. Petersburg. He was walking home from work yesterday and decided to cut through an apartment complex, when he heard a hissing noise and looked down to see an alligator at his feet.

His first reaction was to run away and not look back, but he didn’t know that you’re supposed to run in zig-zags when being chased by an alligator because they’re so fast — plus it looks crazier.

The alligator snapped at Williams and got a mouthful of either Fubu, MFG, or Guess denim. Luckily, his pants were barely resting on his buttocks, so they slid right off into the gator’s jaws. So much for those three months of layaway payments, but at least he was alive and unharmed.

Williams ran home and reported the attack to police. Wildlife officials arrived at the apartment complex and searched a large pond on the property, but they didn’t find the alligator.

“That was the advantage of wearing baggy pants that day,” Williams’s mother told a reporter.

This story proves that baggy pants have a safety benefit. If Florida lawmakers are successful at banning baggy pants statewide, we can expect a lot more teenage males to be eaten by alligators.

As long as alligators exist in Florida, baggy pants should remain legal — at least until a new style of pants are invented that are specifically designed to thwart alligator attacks.

Hopefully, Ed Hardy jeans attract alligators with all those fancy (read: gay) rhinestones.

Sources: 1