FLORIDA — Two deaf guys were stabbed at a nightclub last weekend because a woman who didn’t know about deaf people mistook their sign language conversation for rival gang signs.

33-year-old Sean Shuland and 31-year-old Alfred Stewart are still recovering from their wounds after a crazy Saturday night that ended with them and two others being injured over a huge miscommunication.

It all started when 45-year-old Barbara Lee noticed the two deaf men having a sign language conversation. Their unfamiliar hand gestures confused her at first. She thought they were having some kind of gang sign battle, like “Paper, Rock, Scissors,” but with gang signs instead.

None of their signs were from her gang though, so she approached them and started representing her crew, but they thought she was mocking their deafness. They motioned for her to leave, and said something like “Get outta here,” but it sounded slightly retarded (as deaf people tend to sound).

This REALLY pissed off Barbara Lee. Not only wouldn’t they gang sign battle her, but they told her to leave in a strange voice that made it seem like they were calling her a retard.

This is called an ULTRA MISCOMMUNICATION: a double miscommunication that results in a stabbing.

Lee left the bar and returned with 18-year-old Marco Ibanez and another teenager, who were itching to stab someone. Ibanez started a brawl and stabbed both of the deaf men, but not fatally. A security guard intervened, but Lee broke a champagne bottle and sliced him on the head and hand with it.

When the dust settled, it was a fucking bloodbath. Dead bodies were everywhere. Well, not really, but four people were injured and Lee was arrested, along with her knife-wielding partner Ibanez.

Both of them were charged with aggravated battery, and the third unnamed suspect was also detained. I don’t have enough faith in the legal system to assume they’ll all end up in prison for this, but no matter what, they should at least be forced to take sign language lessons.

Hopefully, Ibanez’s pencil mustache will rub off on the first penis that he’s forced to suck in prison, and those thick braids will make it easier to keep his head down during a brutal shower rape.

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