MAINE — A 24-year-old man is facing multiple charges after he crashed a dump truck into someone’s condo, and then got out of the vehicle and attacked the resident. Police are still figuring out what drug he was under the influence of — possibly alcohol — but considering he was naked, my guess is PCP.

Before the incident, Eli T. Hutchins was partying with a friend at another condo in the complex, so alcohol could have also been a factor in his behavior. At some point, the two friends got into a fight and Hutchins left the condo naked and drove away in his Ford F-150 dump truck — but he didn’t make it far.

He drove over a few lawns and then crashed directly into a condo, completely destroying the kitchen and damaging the bedroom wall where the resident and his young son were sleeping close by. The crash also took out a large propane tank, which could have exploded and killed everyone inside.

Several boards of lumber smashed through Hutchins’s window right where his head should have been, but he must have avoided them by ducking. The police chief said “he is very lucky to be alive.”

Realizing that his truck was totaled, Hutchins got out and immediately attacked the resident. The confused resident grabbed a hammer and hit Hutchins in the head twice. The two men traded punches for hammer blows and struggled with each other until the police arrived and subdued Hutchins.

He was taken to the hospital for an evaluation and then released into police custody and taken to jail where he currently remains. The police are still awaiting toxicology results to determine what drugs he was under the influence of. I searched for Eli Hutchins on Facebook and found this:

That handsome bastard on the right is Eli Hutchins — whether or not he’s the same Eli Hutchins from this story, I don’t know, but there was only one result for that name on Facebook, so I’m just going to assume he’s the dude that fights naked with his male friends and drives dump trucks into condos.

Bonus: Add Eli Hutchins on Facebook and congratulate him on being an asshat. If it’s not the same guy that crashed the dump truck, he’ll most likely have no idea what you’re talking about, but it would still be funny to have several dozen people calling him an asshat for no reason.

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