ILLINOIS — A woman who claimed that her boss slapped her in the head with his penis retaliated against her employer by slapping a sexual harassment lawsuit on the company and winning.

The $95 MILLION payout is believed to be the largest one ever in a U.S. sexual harassment lawsuit.

Ashley Alford (shown above) filed a lawsuit in 2008 against Aaron’s, an Atlanta based rent to own store franchise. She claimed to have been sexually harassed by store manager Richard Moore for over a year. The harassment started with inappropriate nicknames and ended with a mushroom stamp.

Moore’s sexual interest in Alford culminated in the stock room one day when he sneaked up on her and allegedly clobbered her in the head with his penis like a caveman. That same day, he attacked her again in a primitive fashion — pulling her shirt up and then forcing her down and masturbating over her.

His mom must’ve forgotten told him not to forcefully masturbate on women. Regardless, he didn’t return to work after that incident and was eventually charged with criminal sexual battery.

Richard Moore AKA Dick Moore AKA Moore, Dick

SO WHY THE LAWSUIT?

Alford accused the executive staff at Aaron’s of failing to do anything about the harassment during the months that it was occurring. Months before she was slapped with her boss’s dick, she called the employee harassment hotline, but an investigator never returned her call.

Instead of receiving help, Alford said she was denied a promotion for reporting the harassment — and yet the harassment continued. The dick slap was the last straw, so she decided to sue.

Little did she know, she’d be getting her britches stuffed with 95 million dollars, which the government will actually cap at around 40 million dollars (Basically, no matter what a harassment victim endures, it’s only worth about $40 million. That’s how much your dignity would be worth, if you had any).

Don’t feel bad for Aaron’s though because the company’s 980 million dollar net worth means they can afford to fork over $40-95 million for ignoring a woman’s pleas to fire her rapey boss.

In an interview, Alford said she doesn’t want to be selfish with her new wealth. “I want to help womens’ shelters,” she said — which is actually kind of selfish considering that she is a woman.

I know a guy who could really use some of that $40-95 million. Half of that would be fine.

Source: 1, 2