MASSACHUSETTS — Lifeguards and safety procedures at a Fall River public pool are under public scrutiny after a woman drowned there last Sunday, but her body wasn’t discovered until Tuesday night.

The entire staff of the Veteran’s Memorial swimming pool has been placed on administrative leave until an investigation determines how she managed to drown and remain unnoticed for two days.

The last person to see 36-year-old Marie Joseph alive was her neighbor’s 9-year-old son. She was watching him go down a water slide, and somehow fell down the slide and landed on top of him in the water. The young boy thought it was funny at first, but then Marie Joseph didn’t resurface.

The boy tried to tell a lifeguard, but he was ignored. I used to be a lifeguard, so I understand how difficult it is to pay attention when there are so many boobs to look at and think about.

When the lifeguard ignored the boy, he just went home and didn’t tell anyone else about it. Her body wasn’t discovered until more than two days later when the pool was closing Tuesday night.

Marie Joseph’s friends were at the park with her on Sunday when she decided to go by the pool. They left after she failed to meet back up with them. “She can’t swim. She told me this like two weeks ago,” one of her friends told a reporter. “People were swimming with a body in there,” another woman said.

I’ve never been to that particular pool, but the most likely explanation is that her body was held under by drain suction in a poorly-lit area of the pool, or that the other swimmers and lifeguards were blind.

If the pool employees could let a dead body bloat in the pool for two days, then they probably aren’t maintaining the proper chlorine levels either. There could have been nasty corpse viruses reproducing in that pool, entering other swimmers’ through the various holes in their bodies.

Keep an eye on Massachusetts, people. A dead body in the water supply leads to zombie outbreaks.

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