NEW HAMPSHIRE — Last Sunday morning, a 70-year-old grandmother chased an intruder out of her home with a baseball bat. The man didn’t steal anything though — he only made a sandwich… nude.

*** I’d normally post a related image in this spot, but I did a Google image search for “grandma baseball bat” with SafeSearch OFF and it ruined my day, so just imagine an old lady holding a bat instead ***

According to police, the trespasser broke into the home and took off his clothes, then prepared a sandwich. After that, he probably would have just fallen asleep on a couch.

The old woman wasn’t going to let a strange naked man wander around while her family slept upstairs, so she confronted him by herself and told him to leave, but he refused. Then things got ugly.

The gutsy granny whipped out a baseball bat and bashed the intruder repeatedly until he grabbed his clothes and fled, leaving his mouthwatering Dagwood sandwich behind. There is a considerable chance that the whole thing was a hallucination though, and she just has Alzheimer’s.

Supposedly this really happened, except for the sandwich being a Dagwood. Here’s the source: derp

This sounds quite similar to the time Mark Sirben got drunk and passed out in the wrong home.

If you wanted to see what ruined my day, click HERE at your own risk (Ultra-NSFW).