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WTF CHINA: Fetus pills


Earlier this Spring, I wrote about the popular “health food” snack in China known as virgin boy eggs — hard-boiled eggs soaked in the urine of young boys who are presumed to be virgins.

Aside from eating feces straight from the anuses of children, I couldn’t imagine a more bizarre and disgusting entrée; that is, until I heard about ground-up fetus pills.

According to several reports, South Korean customs officials have seized thousands of capsules containing the powdered remains of dead fetuses. The pills allegedly have stamina boosting properties. If you consume the powdered remains of a dead fetus, you absorb the fetus’s essence and gain its stamina. Makes sense, right?

How can you fit a fetus into a pill capsule?

That’s a great question, Jaqueefa.

First, the fetuses are chopped into smaller pieces and placed on a stove top to dry out. Once the pieces are dried out, they’re ground into a fine powder and stuffed into small dissolving capsules.

Sorry, I need to stop writing for a moment. I’m getting really turned on.

OK, I’m better.

Nobody was arrested for smuggling the pills from China because they were intended for personal use only. Plus, dead babies are as plentiful in China as insects are in the rainforest, so nobody REALLY cares what happens to the corpses as long as they keep disappearing.

Chinese people will consume virtually anything if they hear that it reverses aging or gives you a stronger erection. This is one of the setbacks of having Facebook banned in China: nobody can post a status about how the crushed rhino horn pill only made them constipated.

I don’t know why China doesn’t accept Western medicine. We’ve got amazing drugs that can cure everything from depression to erectile dysfunction and the only side effects are really minor things like suicidal tendencies and liver failure.

Original story HERE.

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Comments

Comment from Henry
Time June 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

Bro there was a Zombie attack in Miami on Memorial Day!! i would think you would be alll on it!!

Comment from Sidecarsally
Time June 5, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Hi Henry. Sorry buddy, I’ve been dying to write about the recent zombie attacks, but I dropped the ball and waited to long. The next day, a guy cut out his intestines and threw them at the cops, and after that, somebody in Canada killed a Chinese dude and did terrible things to his body. SO MUCH STUFF TO WRITE ABOUT AHHH MY JIMMIES ARE SO RUSTLED.

Pingback from Snark and superlatives |
Time August 3, 2012 at 8:01 am

[...] delicious: WTF China: Fetus Pills. Here’s something for all you placenta-scarfing new-age [...]

Comment from writingservices.ws
Time September 3, 2012 at 3:13 pm

what a terrifying news, better i’d never read this article

Comment from Kyle
Time September 7, 2012 at 9:57 am

Gimme some of that! lol

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