Imagine for a moment that you are a happily-married mother earning a decent salary working as a deputy at the local sheriff’s office. One day, you come home and find your 20-year-old daughter naked in her bedroom with her boyfriend. What would you do?

If you guessed C) Put a gun to his head, punch him repeatedly, and threaten to press trespassing and rape charges on him, then you must be from Florida.

FLORIDA — Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office corrections deputy Dorethea Collier has been charged with false imprisonment, aggravated assault, and battery for attacking her daughter’s boyfriend. When Collier unexpectedly arrived home on November 2nd, her daughter was giving a BJ to Larry Butler, 19. Startled, he dashed into a closet, naked.

“I want to soooo bad, but my mom… she’s pretty overprotective.”

Upon discovering Butler in the closet, Collier punched him a few times and pointed her gun at him. She handcuffed him and ordered him to his knees. Her daughter begged for his life.

Collier held Butler captive and called her husband — who in turn punched Butler a few more times (along with his own daughter). Butler claims the Collier’s also threatened him with rape charges before finally allowing him to get dressed and leave.

Following the incident, Collier filed a trespassing complaint against Butler right around the time he was filing a complaint with the Sheriff’s Office’s internal affairs office. Owned.

Collier, who was released from jail on $5,000 bail, is on paid administrative leave.

I hope the swift hand of justice inserts itself deeply into Dorethea Collier’s anus. She’s guilty of some serious cockblocking and it’s unforgivable. Oh, and the gun thing. You shouldn’t point guns at the dudes that fuck your daughters — this ain’t Kentucky.

Sources: 1

Quality Comments: “Dorethea Collier = Urethra Collar = Cockblocker?” — footlong

“So, did he get a chance to come or what?!? — Killerwit”

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In May, Karen Sala of Barrie, Ontario tried to extort millions of dollars from actor Keanu Reeves by claiming that he was the father of her four adult children (ages 20-25). She filed a lawsuit that forced Reeves to take a DNA test and demanded $150,000 per month for child support, including retroactive payments going back 20 years.

The Toronto Sun reported today that the DNA test results are in and Keanu Reeves is NOT the father of Karen Sala’s children!

“I fucked Keanu Reeves!” — Karen Sala …. “I don’t even know you.” — Keanu Reeves

Reeves denied the allegations from the beginning, stating very clearly that he had never even met this crazy woman. When asked if Reeves felt relief after the test results, his attorney said today that Reeves wasn’t relieved because he knew all along.

Too bad he was so confident because one of the best feelings in the world is thinking that you actually might have a kid, and then finding out it’s not yours. It happened to me before, and all the bowel movements in the world couldn’t match the relief I felt.

What evidence did Karen Sala ever have of her special time with Reeves?

Sala claimed to have a personal photo of Keanu Reeves from his teenage years — which she failed to produce — and a sample of his handwriting (probably an autograph).

“I wouldn’t even touch that bitch with Laurence Fishburne’s dick.” — Keanu Reeves

I wonder if Karen Sala’s children were brainwashed into thinking Keeanu Reeves was actually their real father. I imagine them being obsessed with him — knowing every line to every movie he’s starred in. Bet they even wear Matrix costumes on Halloween.

This is bullshit though. I demand justice for Karen Sala wasting our time.

Ladies: Somehow, the laws work in your favor: You can accuse any random man of fathering your children or raping you — but where’s the punishment for YOU after the investigation proves that you’re just a manipulative, lying, insane cunt.

Still though, you have boobs and we’re suckers for ‘em!

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