Marijuana smokers, you know this already: Weed is amazing. Everything about it rules — the taste, the smell, the high. If I could, I would make sweet love to a huge pile of it.

People don’t like marijuana for two reasons: 1) They’re assholes. 2) They’re dicks.

NETHERLANDS — Dutch police raided a cannabis farm this week and seized 47,000 plants worth an estimated street value of 6.3 million dollars. However, a little research on the farm would have revealed that it was a legal science experiment conducted by the University of Wageningen.

Outdoor cannabis farm — I would cry joyful tears if I ever came upon this.

Simon Vink, a spokesperson for the university, said the experiment involved testing the suitability of cannabis fibres for the production of textiles, paper and synthetic materials.

“The project had been underway for years and was in its final phase, which would have allowed us to introduced these new fibres to the market. We will probably suffer big losses; we are busy doing the calculations. More than half the plants were destroyed,” Vink said.

The worst part is that the seized and destroyed plants were “unfit for cannabis production due to an extremely low content of THC,” the main psychoactive ingredient in the plant — So even if the university decided to scrap the experiment and sell the weed to a bunch of kids, they probably wouldn’t even get stoned from it!

Can you believe that some people are actually scared of this thing?

The university is “busy talking to the police” about recovering costs. “How about you guys just give us 20 million dollars and then shoot yourselves in the face?”

Cannabis (hemp included) is a wondrous product with endless usability. Ford Motor Company built a hemp plastic car in 1941. Hemp oil can be used to create biofuels to reduce our dependency on fossil fuels. All that, PLUS it gets you high? Jesus!

Bonus: Write a suicide note on hemp paper and then hang yourself with a hemp rope!

I told you yesterday if there was a humorous twist in the Dutch parade story, I’d keep you updated. Well, there isn’t. However, the driver of the black car that plowed through waves of spectators and smashed into a monument has died from injuries.

“Am I bleeding?”

The driver of the black car that killed five others is now known as 38-year-old Karst Tates. He was taken to the hospital, but died shortly after. Depression and hopelessness is thought to be the motive of the attack because Karst had recently lost his job and couldn’t pay rent.

“This is WAY better than GTA4!”

The official death toll from the attack is now at 3-6 people, including the driver.