I was just sitting here, relaxing, and smoking marijuana. I felt at peace with the world, but then I started to remember how goddamn stupid some human beings are.

“Someone should make a Facebook application for virtual weed smoking. It would be like smoking a joint in real life, except you click a button and pretend you’re high.”

(This was actually a real idea that came to fruition)

I was invited by a friend on Facebook to install this “Pass a Joint” application, which would allow me to virtually share weed and joints with friends. Wow… thanks, “friend.”

I’d just like to point out the ignorance here in the description of the app, which reads:

Pass a joint to your friends. Smoke their joints. Get stoned. We’ll keep count. The more you Roll and Smoke weed – the better you get at rolling and scoring kind bud. Earn 70’s Circles! Not some cheesy ready-made app.

I promptly canceled the install, not because I have something against weed (obviously), but because VIRTUAL WEED SMOKING IS FUCKING RETARDED.

Why’d they stop at weed? Where’s the “Pass a Crackpipe” app? You can trade your AIDS for my meth and then have an abortion!

People are starving all over the world and you’re sitting at home playing a low-budget virtual drug smoking game. I suppose the only thing worse than that is sitting at home and reading about people playing a low-budget virtual drug smoking game.

Leave your comments in the comments section below.

Remember last weeks story Italian Bitches Be Crazy? Well, maybe they aren’t so crazy after all. If you didn’t read the story, here is a two-sentence summary:

An Italian man was allegedly caught cheating on his fiancée after she found a scandalous photo of him on Facebook, but rather than just dumping him, she humiliated him by posting hundreds of posters around the city of Rome. The posters called him a traitorous pig and showed the same scandalous photo of him with some naked boobies on his head.

IT WAS ALL A FUCKING LIE!

Someone known only as “cketo” posted a link in the comments section to a site that revealed the truth. The posters were an advertisement for an Italian MOVIE based on the same events described above.

I basically wasted 30 minutes of my life promoting a movie that I will never see, and now I’m wasting even more time writing a follow-up story about it. What an ingenious scam!

Here’s the link to the real trailer for the Italian film. Don’t expect to understand any of that spaghetti nonsense though, unless you’re Italian.

Thanks, cketo!

These days, an engaged-to-be-married man can’t even let a pair of tits rest on his head without it showing up on Facebook the next day.

These situations are unavoidable in life.

That’s what happened to “Antonio M.” of Rome, Italy. His fiancee Valeria was browsing Facebook when she came across a picture of Antonio wearing a large pair of female breasts on his head. She freaked out, called off the wedding, and posted hundreds of paper fliers around Rome, saying this about Antonio:

“At least I have uncovered in time before marrying you that you are a pig traitor!”

Porca is “pig” in Italian, so Orca must be “pig whale.”

Geez, calm down Valeria. So Antonio got some jugs in his face at the strip club. He didn’t necessarily fuck those jugs or the woman they belonged to. Plus, it’s really mean to call someone a pig after all this swine flu hysteria.

You can stay at my place for cheap, Antonio. I’m sorry your girlfriend’s a bitch. You could use a break for awhile, and I could use the extra money to finance my next tattoo: A Patrick Swayze centaur standing in front of two spiraling rainbows.