Russia just got a little more bleak. As of July 1st, all gambling is banned in the Motherland.

According to Reuters, “Russia closed down its casinos overnight as gambling was banned nationwide, a move the industry says could throw a third of a million people out of work. Though gaming establishments knew the shutdown date for at least a year, few thought the government would go through with it, but officials moved in overnight to close them down.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin first proposed the ban in 2006 after the Interior Ministry “linked several gaming operations in Moscow to Georgian organized crime.”

Russians hate Georgians like Americans hate everyone.

The government promised that gambling can eventually resume, but all casinos must relocate to small “development replacement zones” in the middle of nowhere — far from the previous gambling capital, Moscow.

“The [new] zones have no roads, water or electricity. We fulfilled the law by shutting [down], the government did not fulfill it as the zones are not ready yet,” said casino director Yuri Boyev.

Gambling can be an addiction, so it’s also a public health concern. Because of this, some addicted gamblers are relieved by the casinos closing.

“Maybe this is all a good thing. I’m a family man and I come here every day and lose all my money. I’ll be happy to see them go,” said a 40-year-old Muscovite.

Those crazy Muscovites!

Wait… what the fuck is a Muscovite? I remember this word from 8th grade Geology:

Muscovite: A common rock-forming mineral found in igneous, metamorphic and detrital sedimentary rocks.

WHO NEEDS GAMBLING WHEN THERE’S TALKING MINERALS?