MISSOURI — Have you ever been struck by lightning or attacked by a shark? If you answered “yes” to either one of those, you’re still luckier than Lisa Long — she was randomly shot in the face while driving back from her Aunt’s yesterday.

Lisa Long, post-Octomom lip enhancement. “Pow! Right in the kisser.”

On Tuesday afternoon, Long was traveling West on a rural country road when a .30-caliber bullet suddenly whizzed through her window from the South. It tore through her cheek, knocking out one of her teeth, and landed on the floor next to her.

Long initially had no idea that she was even injured until she looked the rear-view mirror and saw a hole in her face with blood squirting out of it.

Adding to the weirdness, the bullet perfectly entered through a 6-inch gap in the slightly-opened window of Long’s car. Investigators believe the bullet was fired from a hunter’s gun up to a mile away, as it had lost much of its velocity before finding Long’s face.

Notice that Lisa Long has a bruised eye socket in the second (more-recent) photo, but not in her hospital photo. I think her husband has some explaining to do.

Unless you live in Detroit, the odds of a stray bullet traversing a mile of land, flying through the half-opened window of a moving car, and striking a driver in the face are about 1 in never. Despite this, Long considers herself fortunate.

“I keep coming back to this — I’m the luckiest person in the world,” she told reporters.

Bonus: Lisa Long is also the mother of two autistic children. Combine that with being randomly shot in the face, and I’m fairly certain that she is not the luckiest person in the world. If anything, God really hates this woman.

Sources: 1

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